I'll Try to Carry On
by supernaturaldh
Summary: Sam struggles with Dean's deal, Dean realizes that he was selfish. A continuation of Catch Me When I Fall. But you don't have to read it first. "Holy Crap, Demons, Deals, & Mono?" CHILDHOOD TRAUMA & BEST STORY SNFA R13 SENSUE AWARDS
1. Chapter 1

**I'll Try to Carry On**

**By supernaturaldh**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or the characters from the show. I do own all the other characters in this story. **

**Authors Note: This story is a continuation of my other works; Slightly Stupid and Catch Me When I Fall. If you have read them, then you already know I love angst, Limp Sam, Big Brother Dean, and bonding moments. Proceed at your own risk!!**

_Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself…How did I get through all of that? - Anonymous_

**Prologue:**

The room emptied immediately, all remnants of Dean, Bobby, and Tom obliterated in a mere two minutes. Sam still stood, stunned at what had just occurred. A slow grin rose to his lips, rising to a giggle, and then a solid laugh. He finished stuffing his things in the duffle and zipped it closed. He grabbed up his jacket and made his way out the doorway. Three large smiles met his arrival at the Impala, Nova, and Dodge truck; a huge grin decorated Sam's face.

"You guys…" He threw his duffle in the trunk, shaking his head in a chuckle, as he turned to look at Tom and Bobby.

"You take care of yourself, Sammy. Watch that stupid brother of yours." Tom grinned as he reached out and pulled Sam into a hug.

"I will Tom. Thank you for coming, helping us." Sam smiled as he pulled away from Tom's grasp.

Dean stood at the driver door; Tom stepped promptly to him and pulled him into his large embrace. _Oh God, kill me know_. Dean stiffened, then let his inhibitions drop and gave Tom a quick hug in return.

"You take care." Dean whispered in a low voice, barely audible. Tom nodded and stepped to his truck, sliding into the front cab and revving up the engine.

"See you at your house Bobby. Bet I can beat you there." With that, Tom Baldwin grinned, pushed peddle to the metal and pulled his truck out of the parking lot, disappearing down the roadway and into the night.

"Bye Bobby." Sam reached over and pulled Bobby into a slight hug, Bobby grabbing him with both arms and giving him a large squeeze.

"You boys, keep in touch. I mean it. The holidays are coming; I expect to see you at my house. Got it?" Sam nodded his head in a minor yes motion as his eyes glistened slightly. He blinked back the moisture as he stepped away from Bobby and eased himself into the passenger seat.

Bobby quickly wiped his eyes with his sleeve and strolled around the car to Dean, who was opening the driver's door. "Hey you, com'er." Bobby grabbed Dean by the arms and pulled him quickly to his chest. "Son, You watch out for your brother." He mumbled in Dean's ear.

Dean gave in; he hugged Bobby back and then settled into the driver's seat. Bobby smiled as he leaned into the driver window. "I mean to see you at the holidays. Tom will be there. I mean it Dean. You get your asses to my house. Got it?" He grinned.

Dean smiled back at Bobby sudden tightness grasping at his chest; he blinked his eyes to clear his vision; fingers gripping on the steering wheel. "We'll be there Bobby, I promise."

They sat in the Impala and watched as Bobby floored his old Nova and rolled out of the parking lot, tail lights fading into the darkness. Dean cocked his head to the side and smiled a croaked smile at his little brother.

"You ready." He grinned as he put the car in gear and pushed the gas paddle.

Sam nodded his head, lips curling up in a grin at his brother. He let his eyes gaze from Dean to the front windshield and out into the distance. A warm comfortable feeling crept across his chest as he relaxed into the bench seat, scooting down to rest his head on the leather. He had his brother to protect him, take care of him, and catch him if he fell. He was happy with that, but it made him smile to think that he had friends that were there too. Friends he and Dean considered family, their family. He felt better just knowing that Bobby and Tom would protect Dean, take care of him, and catch him if needed. It was nice to know they were not alone. He let his eyes flutter shut, a small smile resting on his lips, as the humming sound of the engine lulled him to sleep.

**Chapter 1**

**Never Let go of Hope**

His hand drug slowly across the bricks as his fingers clutched at the rough surface. He blinked his bleary eyes and strained to peer around, slowly tugging himself to his feet. He leaned heavily against the wall, his own body weight causing his legs to buckle and sway. A pain spiked in his head, and he scrunched up his eyelids, as he felt the gooey substance rolling down his face, sticking against his eyelashes. He fought the bile that rose up in his throat and swallowed convulsively. He gagged, as the nasty liquid spewed from his lips and splashed to the asphalt. He gasped for air and shivered, suddenly feeling chilled to the bone. He pulled in a reluctant breath, his eyes straining to see through the darkness. _What was going on? _He momentarily fought to remember, to regain his thoughts. His heart thudded loudly in his chest, disorientation, and haze overcoming him. One word formed on his lips and he whispered it out in an unsteady tone, "Dean?" as his consciousness faded, he felt his body fall heavily, face first, against the cold hard ground.

Dean awoke suddenly, his body aching all over with any movement he made. He felt a heavy corpse against him and realized he was wedged on the ground, large body perched atop him. He moved slightly as a wooden stake poked against his own shoulder, sticking crookedly from its captors chest. He pulled up unsteady arms against the cadaver and pushed the large form away, it thudded heavily to the ground next to him. He stared up, pulling in a large gulp of fresh, crisp air and blinked slowly. He gazed for a moment at the rooftops on either side of his vision, the dawn's early sunlight peaking over the buildings and streaming across his face. He heard the hiss next to him, and turned his head to see the body smoking, fizzing, and then disappearing in a bright light. He tugged his sluggish arm up to cover his face, to shut out the effervescent glow, as the body popped and sizzled, eventually he peaked around his elbow and saw nothing but ash where the large vampire had been. He heaved out a breathe of air and wondered how long he had been lying on the pavement. Thoughts ran through his head as he recalled the hunt for a group of vampires that were killing innocents outside of Big Rock, North Dakota.

He remembered hunting the creatures in the predawn hours, finding their lair and hiding in the shadows with Sam, waiting for them to return to their resting place. He shivered as he recalled how they had killed five, coming up short of stakes. A stupid oversight on his part, he always brought extra supplies, but this time he had left it to Sam. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._ He knew full well that Sam's mind was somewhere else. He shuddered at their hasty retreat, how pissed off he was at his brother. _Sam needed to get his head out of 'The Deal' and back in the game_. He remembered yelling at Sam at the top of his lungs, harsh words blaming him totally for the turn of events as they ran from the vampire. He only stopped yelling when he felt the creature bearing down on them, then shrieking "Sam, run faster" as he comprehended they were in deep shit.

He ran steadily, his boots barely scuffing the ground, his breath a hard pant, his eyes fixed on the passenger door of the Impala and the last wooden stake. He screamed Sam's name as his fingers ripped the passenger door open, and grabbed the stakes from the back seat. He swiftly turned on his heels, eyes rising to the creature that now had his brother by the collar of his worn jacket, dangling him a foot and a half off the ground. He yelled, "Let my brother go you son of a bitch" and then he cringed and watched as the creature flung Sam eight feet into the brick wall. The side of Sam's face hitting the wall, his body sliding down and falling limply to the ground. Sudden reality came screaming to his mind as he comprehended what he had just reviewed in his thoughts. He bolted upright, pain radiating to his very core, his eyes darting around for Sam.

He stood quickly on his shaky legs, disregarding any pain, his body working on straight adrenaline; he was at his brother's side in a mere second, kneeling down beside him on the ground. He gently turned him over, brushing the rocks and dirt from his bloody face. "Sam, Sammy, come on kiddo, open your eyes." His fingers brushed Sam's long bangs back from his forehead, his eyes falling to the large two inch gash just beneath his hairline above his left eye that was oozing blood in a steady stream, large black and blue bruises appearing above his eyebrows and decorating his left cheek. He reached his shaky fingers into his jacket and pulled out a bandana, pushing it lightly against Sam's forehead. Sam flinched at the movement, but made no attempt to wake. "Sam?" he tapped lightly on his brother's cheek, his heart beating harshly with anticipation. Then Sam's eyelashes fluttered, as a slight moan eased from his parted lips.

"Dean?" he whispered, his unfocused, glazy eyes looking at Dean. "I'm s...s…sorry I drop...dropped a s…st...stake."

"Yep, it's me in the flesh." Dean's lips curled up in a slight grin, as his fingers moved lightly down his brother's body checking for any additional damage. His eyes catching the sudden emotion rolling from Sam's features, the blame he was taking on for the entire fiasco. _The blame I put on him. The guilt I yelled out without regard for his feelings. I am such an idiot._

Sam brought his wobbly hands up and brushed against his brothers arms attempting to knock his hands away. "I'm 'Kay." Sam's shaky voice whispered as he struggled to release himself from Dean's grasping hands.

"Yeah, sure you are bro, just hit a wall at twenty miles an hour with your big ole hard head." Dean firmly grabbed and then planted both of Sam's hands flatly back against his stomach. "Stop it Sam." Dean continued his ministrations. "Forget it Sam, it was just as much my fault as your's." Sam's lips quirked up, a crooked smile ghosting across his pale, bloody face, but he relaxed and let his brother finish. He flinched lightly when his brother's fingers moved across his left shoulder blade. "I think you dented the wall there, Sammy." Dean offered with a soft chuckle. "Let's get you out of here and back to the motel."


	2. Chapter 2

**I'll Try to Carry On**

**By supernaturaldh**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them, but I sure wish I did.**

**Chapter 2**

**Lean on Me**

Dean placed his arm around his brother and slowly pulled him to a sitting position, removing the bandana from his face; relieve flooding through his veins as he saw the blood flow on his head had diminished to a slight trickle. Sam swayed slightly, as his fingers clutched Dean's jacket tightly. Suddenly, Sam's head lolled toward his shoulder as his eyes fluttered and closed.

"Hey, Hey, Sammy, stay with me. Hey, open your eyes. HEY!" Dean pulled Sam in closer to his body and gave him a slight shake; Sam's eyes flickered open again as he peered at Dean, confusion evident in his features. "Okay, let's get you up." Dean pushed and pulled Sam to his feet as he tugged him closely to his side, arms clutched tightly around his brother's lanky frame.

Sam smiled weakly, a soft whisper coming from his lips, "Dizzy", he leaned his head into Dean's neckline, body hunkered over heavily against his brother.

"I gotcha, it's okay, lean on me." Dean's voice firm and authoritative, as he hauled his brother's large body forward, Sam made every attempt to move his feet; Dean grinned slightly and mumbled, "Gees Sammy, lay off the Lucky Charms, you weigh a ton."

"Wh't?" Sam mumbled as his head bobbled around on Dean's shoulder.

"Nothing Sam, come on."

oooooooooooooooooo

Sam's consciousness came in bits and drabbles, little pieces of reality falling into place like a puzzle. He struggled to stay aware, but drifted lightly back and forth between the waking world and the dark. He distinctly heard his brother mention 'Lucky Charms' but could not make out what he was saying. He struggled to put one foot in front of the other, as Dean's voice ordered. He recognized the smell of Dean's coat, and felt the comfy feeling of the leather seat of the Impala. He scrunched his face up in pain at the light tugging on his forehead, and definitely smelled the antiseptic aroma of peroxide. He could feel a soft pillow being placed under his head, and heard a gentle voice that whispered the words, "Easy" and "Rest now." He finally gave up on awareness as he felt a soothing motion tugging lightly through his hair, allowing it to lull him into nothingness.

Oooooooooooooooooooo

Dean eased Sam into the passenger seat, tucking his leather coat around his brother's lax form. He looked intently at Sam's large, wide eyes starting at him, and patted him lightly on the shoulder. "Easy Sam, you're going to be okay." He slid himself hastily around the car and quickly started it up, tires squealing in the night air as he veered onto the roadway.

Dean's eyes darted from the road to Sammy numerous times on the drive back to the motel, his hand nudged Sam to wakefulness every so often, to make sure he was still among the living. He had trouble getting Sam's large body moving from the car, and into the motel room, then deposited on the bed. He sighed in relief when his efforts were completed, perspiration dotting his own forehead. He slowly stitched Sam's head up and placed an ice pack to his brother's badly bruised shoulder. His own body ached as he pushed away from the bed, pulling his fingers one last time through Sam's hair as he felt him relax into oblivion. He stepped backwards until he felt the back his legs bump against the twin bed, and then he fell heavily against it, letting his sore body fall limply to the mattress, exhaustion overtaking his efforts.

Oooooooooooooooooooo

The harsh ringing of his cell phone tugged at Dean's brain until he finally willed his eyes to open, fingers fumbling in his shirt pocket to retrieve it. He stared at the ceiling of the motel blinking slowly, his sleep filled voice piercing out "…ello."

"Dean? Did I wake you up?" Bobby Singer's voice a questionable tone.

Dean cleared his throat, his eyes gazing over at his brother, seeing him shuffle under the blankets and nuzzle deeper into the pillow. He watched intently as Sam's chest rose and fell, relaxation evident on his face. He turned his attention back to the phone call and whispered into the phone. "Yeah…yeah...we had an all night'r."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I can call back…" Bobby offered.

"No. no, I'm up now. Sam's sleeping." Dean pushed to sit up on the bed, his throat emitting a slight grimace at the motion. _Damn he was stiff and sore. He couldn't imagine how Sam was gonna feel._

"You guys okay?"

Dean glanced down at his watch. _2:30 p.m. Shit. _"Yes, we just had run in with a nasty nest of vampires. That's all. We got them all." _No need to go into a lot of details with Bobby, giving him causes to worry._ "It was touch and go there for awhile, but it's done now."

"Well, shit." Concern etched in Bobby voice. "I hadn't heard from you guys, didn't see you at the holidays. Thought you were coming by?" _Well, that was just a lie; he talked to Sam all the time about Dean's deal, struggling to help him find a loophole. He understood why he had not seen them, being Dean's last Christmas and all._

"Got another hunt for us?" Dean's voice upped a notch. He stepped over to his brother, leaning down to look intently at his battered and bruised face. _Jesus, he looks like he got hit by a semi._

"Yeah, yeah, I do. You guys up for it? I think I'm going to need some help on this one." Bobby's tone was hesitant. _He would wait to tell the boys in person about the haunting in Stone Bridge, Georgia, or the fact that Tom Baldwin had went to investigate, and had not been heard from in days. Besides, he might hear from Tom before they even met up._

"Of course we are always looking for a hunt. Is it a demon from the gate? I want to kill as many of them as possible this year." Dean's voice took on a harsh, cold quality that rang strange even in his own ears. He shrugged off the feeling and moved his hand lightly up to Sam's blanket, tugging it back up under his chin. _Damn, his brother looked exhausted. He needs to rest._

Yeah, meet me in Andersonville, Georgia day after tomorrow. Call me when you get into town"

"Okay, that's good. Sam's slightly banged up. He needs a day or so to recoup."

"I'll give you all the details then." Bobby heaved out, voice flat and edgy.

"What old man, keeping us in suspense." Dean snickered lightly. "It's all good; as long as I get to kill some fugly ass demons."

Bobby's laughter echoed through the line as Dean flipped close his cell. He quickly jotted Sam a note, and rested it on the mattress by his brother's hand.

**Went to grab us some food, be back in a few. **

**Dean **

He wretched his jacket from the back of the chair, and winced as he moved it over his sore body. _Son of a bitch, I hate vampires_.

Ooooooooooooooooooo

Sam's fingers moved lightly across the blanket as he attempted to wake up his wary body. He struggled to open his eyes, as he moved his hand across the blanket, a slight crunching sound catching his attention. He blinked slowly, lashes fluttering across his cheeks as he squinted in the bright sunlight that was streaming through the curtain and across the bed. He grasped his fingers around the piece of paper that was lying just under his hand and tugged it in front of his face. He recognized the haphazard scratching to be that of his brother's and dropped it back to the covers. _My face hurts_. He raised his fingers and rubbed lightly across his forehead, feeling the butterfly stitches that dotted across it just beneath his hairline. He couldn't remember how he got here; the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle from the last twenty four hours assaulting his mind. His mouth felt like cotton and he swallowed attempting to create some moisture. _Water?_ He tugged the blanket away from his long body and let it fall to the floor in a heap next to the bed. He pushed himself up, his legs swinging from the bed to the floor in one swift motion. His lips allowed a small gasp to escape as the pain in his head, shoulders and torso fired against every muscle he had. He heaved out a slight breathe of air, and let his fingers clasp the bedspread to hold himself steady as the room swayed. He eyed the bathroom intently. The thought of a cool drink from the facet caused salvia to grow and settle heavily on his tongue. He pushed off the bed as he felt his entire body aching with the movement, and he swayed on his weak legs, eyes placed steadfastly on the doorway and the sink. He felt his limbs quivering as he placed one foot slowly in front of the other, the room taking on a ominous grey hue as he moved forward.

It seemed like if took hours to reach the bathroom, to be standing in front of the sink, his hand clutching at the porcelain with what little strength he had left. He twisted the cold water facet with his shaky fingers and let the cool water run across his hand. He cupped his fingers and pulled the liquid slowly to his lips, slurping in as the wetness hit his tongue. He ran his weary hand down his face, feeling the dampness as it reached his features. He tugged his head up, long hair falling across his eyes, as he stared intently at the bruised face in front of him. _I look like crap. _He blinked his eyes quickly as a wave of dizziness assaulted him and he brought his hand back down to the porcelain, fingers giving way to white knuckles as he clutched at the hard surface. He dropped his head, and twisted his eyes closed. He didn't know how long he stood there, leaning against the bathroom sink, breathe coming out in tiny gasps as he struggled to stay standing.

He heard the thud of the door to their motel room, the jangle of keys, and the crunching of paper bags as his brother entered the room; but he did not move, or make a sound, afraid if he did he would go plummeting to the floor.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'll Try to Carry On**

**Chapter 3**

**By supernaturaldh**

**Demons and Deals **

Dean plopped the greasy take out bag on the table as his eyes darted to the bed formerly occupied by his kid brother. "Sammy?" _He must be in the bathroom. _He twisted his body on the balls of his feet, his eyes gazing toward the bathroom, the door open, his brother resting heavily against the sink. Sam's features were pale against the dark bruises that decorated his face. Dean made three large strides, his fingers reaching to grip Sam's arm, to steady him. "Hey, kiddo. Need some help?"

Sam tilted his head at a slight angle as a wave of dizziness swept over him; he swayed lightly as he felt his brother's fingers clutch around his arm, steady him. He fought momentarily for his equilibrium, and nodded his head leisurely at his brother, no words coming from his lips. Dean tugged him slowly back toward the bed, one hand still gripping his arm, the other holding firmly around his waist. His body protested the movement, every nerve ending assaulting him, his head throbbing with the slow progress toward the bed. He braced himself against his older brother and whispered, "God, My head hurts, my body hurts. I don't feel so good, Dean."

Dean lowered Sam to the bed, a chuckle escaping from his lips. "No kidding? You just hit a brick wall, remember?"

Sam eased back against the headboard as Dean pulled and tugged pillows, bracing him at an angle. Sam closed his eyes, and brought his hand up to rub across his forehead. Dean's fingers gently reaching up and pulling Sam's hand away. "Don't do that, dude. I worked hard on those stitches."

Sam blinked his weary eyes at his brother, "Yeah, yeah, whatever….what time is it?"

"It's after 4:00; we both slept most of the day away." Dean offered as he pulled the greasy burger and fries from the take out bag. He noticed Sam cringing at the objects, and grinned. He tugged out the salad, and hoisted it toward his kid brother.

"Surprise.", Dean quirked out, kicking off his boots, and flopping heavily on the opposite bed. He hungrily eyed the feast in front of him, as he tugged off the paper covering.

Sam's lips curled up slightly on the edges. "Thanks, Dean." _Dean really tried to make him happy. He would miss these times, if Dean was gone. His thoughts returned to the deal, the demon, time that was running out. The feelings gave him a head rush and he suddenly lost his appetite. _

Dean watched as Sam's gaze drifted far away, and he moved the salad around with his fork. _He's working hard to disguise the fact he is not eating that. _Dean leered at him from above his drippy burger, disapproving frown easing across his features. "Earth to Sam, Come on, eat the salad, don't play with it."

"I'm not hungry." _Eating was the furthest thing from his mind. He had wasted valuable time, slept the day away, wasted time he should have been doing research, finding a way to get his brother out of the deal. The deal that would take Dean from him in only six short months. _

"You're never hungry Sammy. You never eat. For that matter, you never sleep either. You can't go on this way."

Sam cringed and rolled his eyes at his brother. _He sounds just like Dad_. "Screw you." Sam's voice brimmed with attitude as he dumped the salad in the hotel trash can. His eyes daring his older brother to say a word, he grabbed the laptop and flipped it open.

"Sam." The only word coming from Dean's lips as he realized Sam was not going to eat at all. He watched as his kid brother booted up the computer, his face taking on a green hug against the light of the screen in front of him. _Once again, Sam was going to gaze at the computer, scour the internet for answers that were not there_. He caught on to the fact that Sam was tired, sore, and out of sorts; he decided to let it go. He finished off his burger and fries, and gave his coke a large gulp, belching as he shifted back on the twin bed, flipping on the television with the remote. He slowly dozed off as he listened to Sam's fingers flying across the keyboard, X-files rerun humming from the T.V.

The sun was long gone, the T.V. droning on when Dean awoke. He blinked into the darkness, craning his head to gaze at Sam. He was sound asleep, computer sitting haphazardly on his legs; head slumped against his chest, fingers still poised on the keyboard. He sighed slightly at the sight of his kid brother. _Sammy, what am I going to do with you?_ He slowly rose to his feet, and moved to his brother's side, grabbing the computer away from his hands, he looked intently at the website, 'Demons and Deals . com', he rolled his eyes and a small laugh brimmed on his lips as he snapped the computer closed and lay it on the floor. Sam snuggled his head against the pillow, long fingers clutching at the fluffy matter as Dean tugged the blanket up and over his brother's gangly form. _Sammy, Sammy, Sammy. _A small sigh escaped Dean's lips and he sat harshly back down on his bed, fingers tugging roughly through his short hair, tears brimming just below his lashes. _He so wanted to kick his own ass. He put his brother in this state._ The thought alone caused his chest to ache. _He had always taken care of Sam, but who was going to do that when he was gone? _He let his body fall back to the mattress as his memories of the cross road demon and the deal he had made to save his brother blurred in his thoughts, and caused him to gasp for air. It was a long time before he relaxed, his mind drifting off to an uneasy sleep.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The wind whipped through the treetops, branches swaying in the mid morning light as the sleek, black Impala hugged the curves of the curvy Tennessee back roads. The sky was clear, the air was crisp, and Dean's lips wore a happy smirk. He had his baby, a good song playing, and a n_ew hunt. The opportunity to burn some demon's ass looming in his future; yep, life could be pretty darn good. _He was brought back to reality when he heard his brother let out a slight mewing sound as he shuffled uncomfortably in the seat next to him._ Almost, all good. _He pushed his sunglasses back further against the bridge of his nose, his eyes darting discretely through the dark lenses at Sam. _He looks like crap._ He heaved out an anxiety ridden breathe as he watched his brother. Sam's face was pale, a mass of cuts and bruises, his bloodshot eyes straining at the laptop screen bouncing on his knees. _Will he ever stop this shit_?

"Sam, you been at that all morning, looking at all those saved websites. Can't you just let it go for a little while?" Dean's voice rose on the breeze that floated through the windows, blowing Sam's hair wildly around his features. "You should take a break, give it a rest." He watched as Sam's eyes flitted across at him, bleary slits, then squinted and focused back on the laptop.

"Nope."

"Sam, come on man, you can't look at that shit 24/7."

"Yes, I can. I have to…."

_That was it. _"Damn it, Sammy." Annoyance weaved its way into Dean's tone. _He wasn't sure if he was mad at Sam or at himself. _He reached his hand up and flung the sunglasses harshly to the floorboard, both hands gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles. He tugged in air as the irritation simmered momentarily beneath the surface, then, with no warning; he swung the Impala quickly from the roadway, the gravel and dust flying as the car screeched to a halt. He flung the car into park, his fingers grabbing the laptop from Sam's clutches, and tossing it harshly out the driver's window as hard and far as possible. He grinned broadly, as he heard it tumbling down the slope of the hillside.

Sam's eyes grew wide with shock; face a deer in the headlights as the computer disappeared from his fingers and into the tall grass and weeds. He grimaced slightly as he heard the loud thud permeating the air, metal bouncing and tumbling against the ground next to the car.

"Deeeaaaannn." Sam's voice was a whiny seven year old that he remembered, a rush of memories assaulting Dean's mind, a slight smile curling up on the corner of his lips.

Sam wretched open the passenger door and stomped angrily around the front of car, eyes darting around the ground for the laptop.

Dean relaxed in the front seat, eyes watching his brother as he shimmed down the hillside and came to a stop. _He was glad he did it. Screw the computer, and Sam. _

He bent down with shaky fingers and picked up the computer pieces from the ground in front of him. _Dean broke the freaking computer, how could he do that, how could he? What was he supposed to do now, how could he look, find answers? Stop the deal? _His mind raced as he attempted to grasp the information, or lack there of, now lying mangled in two scraps of metal in his fingers. His breathe clutched in his chest and he gazed at the ruminants of the laptop. He strangled to pull in some air. His peripheral vision tunneled to blackness as his legs grew weak and he swayed with the wind around him. _How could he do this?_ He heard the squeak of the Impala door and a familiar voice murmured in his ear. What little strength he had seemed to ebb slowly from his body, and the world tilted sideways. _He had to save Dean, he had to_. He felt strong arms wrap around him as he swayed on his weak legs and struggled to catch his breathe. The broken computer tumbled from his fingers and he blinked back the tears that welled in his eyes. An overwhelming fear clutched tightly at his chest, and he realized he might not be able to save his brother.


	4. Chapter 4

**I'll try to carry On**

**Chapter 4**

**By supernatural**

**The edge of Nothingness**

Dean felt his heart plummet as he watched his little brother coming unglued right before his eyes. He wrapped his arms tightly around Sam as he slumped weakly toward the ground, large tears rolling unabated down his bruised face. His eyes were scrunched tightly closed, air seeming to struggle to make it to his lungs. Dean tugged him tightly in his arms, his own knees falling gently toward the ground. He pulled him firmly to his own chest, willing him to breathe.

"Sam, hey Sam, breathe. SAM, Breath with me."

Dean's concerned eyes watched his brother, as Sam blinked panic ridden eyes looked at him. _He had not seen Sam have a panic attack in a long time, but he knew this was one._ His own heart thudded in his chest as he willed Sam to breathe with him.

"Come on Sam, slow down, breath with me. Slow…."

_I am such a freak'n idiot. I should have known how important that damn computer was to Sam._ His eyes glanced over at the broken computer pieces, and he grimaced at what he had done. _I am such an ass._

OoOoOoOoO

Sam felt his chest catch tightly as the reality of the situation sat off a chain reaction in his exhausted mind. _No computer, the crossroad demon, the deal, six months left with Dean._ He gasped for air. He struggled to be in command of his body, but it refused to obey. He could feel every nerve ending, a frayed mass of pain, confusion and doubt, as he wheezed in tiny gasps of oxygen. Every thought, every question, running frantically through his mind; he could hear Dean's voice murmuring in the distance, but he could not make out the words. He fought momentarily for control, and then shut down from the waking world. _He was so tired, six months of relentless searching, and nothing, he had nothing._ _He wanted to go to sleep, to close himself off from the thinking, pondering, worrying. His was so tired…_ He felt the fog engulf him as he blinked slowly, oblivion pulling him under.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Sam, Sammy, don't do this. Hey, Look at me. Sam. Please."

Dean cradled his brother's limp body in his arms; Sam's features lax. Dean did not know how long he sat on the cold ground, damp grass soaking through his blue jeans. He could hear cars whizzing by up on the roadway, just out of eye shot; he sat holding his brother, willing his breathe to even out and his eyes to open. _How had he let this go so far; he should have stopped Sam from this spiral months ago. He looked so pale, so fragile. He should have done something. How could he have just sat by and let this happen? Let his little brother push himself to the edge. _He swiped his fingers over his Sam's damp cheeks and wiped away the wayward tears, fingers brushing lightly at the long bangs falling in his face.

"Sam, it's going to be okay. Sam?" Dean cupped his brother's chin and tilted his head up to look at him. Sam's damp lashes lying against his pale cheeks. His voice a low whisper, he continued to tug his fingers through his brother's hair. "I'm sorry about the computer, Sam. I'm sorry about the deal, that I can't fix it. I'm sorry I didn't see this coming…I'm sorry…."

His chest loosened slightly when Sam's eyes fluttered, owlish orbs blinking up at him. He smiled slightly as he saw recognition rise back in his brother's tear rimmed lids.

"Hey kiddo, you gave me quite a scare there. You okay?"

Sam blinked slowly and attempted to focus on Dean's face. "Yeah." Sam drew a deep breath, and pushed away from his brother. Hiseyes sluggishly tugged down as he struggled to stay awake, his arms not wanting to hold him up.

"Sam?" Dean eyed his pale faced brother with concern as his hand tightly grasped his arm, steadying him from taking a header to the ground.

Sam gazed at him through half mast lids, confusion etched on his face.

"You're okay. You're okay." Dean rambled on. "You're just tired. You never sleep, you don't eat either. And you did hit a brick wall yesterday. Remember…you're okay." _Dean reassured his brother. Or maybe he was reassuring himself?_ He wrapped both arms around Sam and lugged him up. "Come on; let's get you in the car." He felt Sam leaning heavily against him as he pulled him forward.

ooooooooooooooo

Sam's mind drifted and he struggled to focus on Dean, to stand up. _He could not remember when he was ever this tired before. He wanted to cooperate, to say something, but he felt weary and out of sorts. _ He looked intently at his brother, as the tears floated up to his eyes again. He heaved out a weary breathe. _What's wrong with me? _

Dean took most of Sam's weight and started a steady path toward the car. He whispered words of encouragement as he felt his brother struggling to move his sluggish body. _It concerned him that Sam seemed out of it, his emotions out of control. This is so not good. _ "Hey, it's okay Sam. It's okay."

Sam bit his lower lip to stop it from trembling as he gazed wide eyed as his brother, weariness assaulting his body.

Dean eased his drained brother to the front seat of the Impala, and yanked a blanket from the back seat, tucking it neatly around him. Dean placed his hand quickly against his forehead. _No fever_. He gave Sam a lopsided grin. Sam just stared blankly at him and shuffled into the leather seat, letting his tired eyes fall slowly closed. _He was just too tired to even talk. _

Dean slowly closed the passenger door, anxiety evident on his features. _He needed to get Sam somewhere, let him rest. The meeting with a brick wall had obviously been more serious than he realized. _ He slid into the front seat, glancing over at his brother as he started up the Impala and pulled onto the road.

Oooooooooooooooooo

Bobby Singer grinned at the short, round, middle age lady behind the hotel counter, thumbing his baseball cap and tugging it down further on his forehead.

"So, you do remember this guy?" He leaned the cell phone picture closer across counter, letting her gaze at it for a long moment.

"Yea, he checked in last Monday. He paid up for two weeks, room 2B. Are you staying with him?" Her questioning eyes squinting from the picture to Bobby's face. "You got to pay up for the other bed." She stated firmly.

"Yes, same room." Bobby flung two hundred dollars down on the counter. "Keep the change, sugar."

The woman's lips curled up at the edges in a giddy smile. "Thank you." She flipped the key into Bobby's awaiting fingers, as she ripped the money from the countertop.

He tugged open the doorway, eyes peering around the room. He slung his own bag to the floor with a thud. He noticed nothing out of place, Tom's bags in the corner, pizza box, and beer cans decorating the dresser top. _Tom, where the hell are you?_

oooooooooooooooo

Bobby Singer's cell phone rang loudly; and he dumped his research to the lime green bedspread. He shuffled his socked feet across the bright orange shag carpet and grabbed the phone from the nightstand. He had been waiting in this run down dump in Andersonville, Georgia for the last two hours, reading and rereading his notes, waiting on the Winchesters.

"Bobby." A low whispered voice came through the cell phone and he struggled to make out the words.

"Dean?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"Speak up boy, I can't freak'n hear you!"

"Sam's asleep. We're two miles out." Dean murmured lightly, his eyes darting from windshield to his brother.

"Well wake his ass up, tell him nap times over." Bobby snickered.

"I...I…what motel you at?"

_Dean's tone sounds a little off, edgy. _Bobby's eyebrows shot up, concern pumping through his limbs. "What's going on?"

"Where are you at Bobby?" Dean sounded slightly pissed, but his voice stayed steady and low.

"The Country Inn, off I-90, behind the restaurant, room 2B."

He heard the phone click shut as the adrenaline rushed to his veins. _He didn't know what was going on, but something was definitely off. _ He slid his socked feet into his boots, and grabbed his jacket, shrugging it on, he whipped open the rickety door, and stood on the balcony. He stared intently across the parking lot, eyes darting down I-90. He was rewarded when the slick black Impala came into few, barreling down the roadway. He shuffled two steps at a time down the stairway, his boots thudding loudly on the concrete sidewalk below. He strained to see through the windshield as the car pulled into the parking lot. He watched as Dean slung the car into park and nodded at him, and then leaned across the set and gently touched his younger brother's arm. _Was Sam hurt? _He shuffled around to the passenger side and wretched open the door.

"Dean, what's going on?" Bobby asked concern lacing through his tone. He leaned profoundly into the front seat, gazing from Dean's face to Sam's. He noticed the younger man's face seemed pale, which only accentuated his bleary eyes opening and the intense bruises that decorated his features.

"Dean?" Sam spoke in a weary voice. He tugged away from Bobby, obviously irritated that someone was in his personal space. He gazed with panicked eyes at his older brother.

"It's okay Sammy." Dean patted lightly on Sam's arm, and then gripped it tightly. "Stay right there. I'm coming around."

Sam's head nodded slowly. "I'm o...k..." Sam offered as he straightened in the seat and rubbed his hand shakily across his face.

Bobby stayed fixed in his position beside the door, questioning eyes gazing at Sam. He heard Dean open the driver's door, his shoes scurrying on the pavement and coming to rest next to him. He looked up at Dean with a sincere, what the hell is going on look on his face.

"Sam, hit his head a couple of days back. I think he might have a slight concussion."

"A slight concussion, this looks worse than that." Bobby blurted out as he watched Dean grasping his brother and helping him to his feet. Bobby reached around and grabbed Sam's other arm, steadying him between them. They made slow steps toward the motel room. Eventually, they deposited Sam down on the bed, Dean tugging blankets up across him.

Sam never spoke again, but let his heavy eyelids close as he heard the comforting sound of Dean's voice and muffled conversation going on around him.

Dean tilted his head toward the doorway, and Bobby followed as they eased out on the balcony. Dean left the doorway cracked so he could see his brother tucked beneath the mound of blankets on the bed.

"Okay Dean, spill it." Bobby's stern eyes gazed intently at Dean as he watched the oldest Winchester run a ragged hand through his cropped hair, a exhausted sigh coming from his lips.

_** Thanks for reading this story. Sorry, I am bogged down with work and night classes. No time to do my passion, which is writing this stuff!! Review if you have the time! Hope to post at least once a week!! Thanks - supernaturaldh**_


	5. Chapter 5

**I'll try to Carry On**

**Chapter 5**

**By supernatural**

**Comforting Motion**

Dean leaned his fatigued body against the white stucco walls, eyes staring fixedly at Bobby.

"I…I don't know. We killed the vampires, he got thrown into a wall. I thought he was okay, then…. We… We had a fight about the computer." Dean's head fell heavily down to gaze at the sidewalk, suddenly fixated on a crack running across the concrete. "He… he won't stop searching, looking for a way to get me out of the deal. He can't, I can't….." Dean's voice wavered, and Bobby saw the tears well up beneath his lids.

"Okay", Bobby cleared his throat, eyes looking across the parking lot, nervous hands stuffing into his pockets; they stood silent for a minute, Bobby giving Dean the opportunity to compose himself. "Dean, look at me." He shuffled a step closer, hoping his proximately would gain Dean's attention. "Dean, you are all he has; I mean he has me, he as Tom, but you, you ARE his world. You have always been his whole world, even when your Dad was alive. You raised him, took care of him, always have."

Dean's head tilted up at an angle, his eyes to staring hauntingly at Bobby. He leaned toward him on the balls of his feet, hands gripped tightly at his sides. "He can't keep doing this to himself, Bobby. He thinks I don't know about the constant looking, staying up all night searching the internet, not sleeping or eating. He has made himself sick looking for answers that he isn't going to find, and even if he finds then, they won't work, the demon said so. I should have put my foot down a long time ago. I can't do this; I can't let him do this anymore."

"Did you ever think maybe Sam can't do it either? That he won't be able to function without you? Do you know he calls me every day, talking about you, the deal, and his research? Asking me for help? He calls Tom too. It's not all about research, Dean. He is having a hard time just coping with this deal, you, and the thought of you dying, of being all alone." Bobby's hands fumbled toward each other, clasping tightly together, eyes flickering at Dean. "He's scared Dean. Hell, we all are. I admit, he seems to have worn himself down, and we should not have let that happen, you hear me, 'WE' should not have let that happen, but 'WE will have to help him get through this, help him cope."

"But, the demon said…." Dean tugged his hand roughly through his cropped hair as he fixed his eyes on Bobby.

"Screw that demon bitch Dean. Sam killed her ass. We are all looking, will keep looking, until we get you out of that damn deal. We don't care which freaking demon owns the contract. What they don't know won't hurt them." Bobby's tone rose as he spoke, brows squinting up into an angry arch above his eyes.

Dean shifted on the toes of his boots, hands clinching and unclenching at his sides. His eyes flicked a steel blue at Bobby, intense emotion hiding just behind his features. "Thanks", he whispered evenly. His eyes darted back through the cracked motel doorway, and his brothers sleeping form. _Time to fess up. _ "I threw the laptop outthewindowofthecar." He huffed out quickly, apprehension of Bobby's reprimand causing his muscles to tense up.

"You did what?" Bobby's face contoured up into a hard scowl as he stared keenly at Dean. "I cannot believe you. Damn it, Dean, that computer was full of Sam's research. No wonder he's in this state. Six months of work, hard work he has done."

Dean shrugged his shoulders; shifting slightly under the scrutiny, sudden embarrassment easing across his face.

Bobby huffed out a light exhale and looked from Dean back to the parking lot. "Tom's missing."

Dean's attention focused from Sam to Bobby, his hand reaching up to grip Bobby's shoulder. "What?"

"I haven't heard from him in three and a half days. He was checking out a haunting about ten miles from here in Stonebridge, Georgia. I researched it, I sent him here, and now…" Bobby's hand pushed his ball cap back from his forehead as he peered at Dean.

"What was going on?" Dean's face was full of concern.

Bobby slid slowly down against the motel wall, head falling down to stare at his hands, body thudding to the sidewalk. He shuddered out a tired breath of air, "I think it's a Wendingo, but I can't be sure. Bobby came down to check it out. Thirteen people have been found dead in the forest between here and Stonebridge over the last two years. They go in the woods, and don't come back."

Dean's boots shuffled out in front of him as his butt hit the cold hard concrete, his head leaning back against the cool wall. He glanced at Sam again, then over at Bobby. "So, you have not heard from him? You think he got hurt? He's out in the woods somewhere?"

"He must be, his phone keeps going to voicemail. I am confident he can take care of himself, though, but we need to find him, and soon."

Dean's head nodded slightly, "We will, Bobby. We will." Dean's shoes crunched against sidewalk as he stood, and tugged his hand across the partially open door, giving it a quick shove, he made quick strides toward the bed and his brother.

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Sam could hear the muffled voices as he blinked open his tired eyes, darting around the fuzzy motel room; green bedspreads, orange carpet. _What a dump_. If he didn't already feel nauseous, this room would definitely make him that way. He rubbed his fingers across his tired eyes, attempting to clear his foggy brain. He remembered very little of the last couple of hours. _What had happened, how did he get here? _He heard the doorway creak open slightly as the sunlight bathed the room; he scrunched up his eyes and looked at the hazy figures walking through the door.

"Dean?" light confusion evident in his tone.

"Hey Sammy; it's me, and Bobby." Dean eased down on the bed, fingers tugging the blankets up across his brother and smoothing this with a light pat. Eyes gazing intently at Sam.

"Bobby? Wh..where are we?" Sam's voice was barely audible.

"We're in a motel in Georgia, remember? Bobby called; we met up with him here, to hunt." Dean smiled crookedly at his sibling, hoping that he understood and remembered what was going on.

Sam looked confused at both men, and then recognition flickered across his face. He pushed with his shaky arms against the mattress in an attempt to move to sit up higher on the bed. "What are we looking for?"

"Stay put," Dean's voice was an order, and his hand lightly pressed Sam's chest, forcing his brother back down to the pillow. "Tom's missing, we're looking for Tom first, then the damn thing that he was after."

"Just rest Sam," Bobby's tone was just as authoritative, he stepped quickly up next to Dean, his arms crossed, defiant look on his face.

Sam blinked slowly, mouth agape, as four eyes glowered down at him. _Tom's missing_? He shifted under the mound of blankets, uncomfortable under the tough scrutiny.

"I…I got stuff to do. Research….the library. Help find Tom." He raised his arm and pushed against Dean's hand. "Bobby…." _His weak voice pleaded for Bobby to understand, to side with him against his older brother. _

"No Sam, you aren't doing any research right now. You are freaking resting and that is all you are doing." Dean's voice was firm, but gentle, as he held his anger in check, hand still holding Sam against the bed.

"Dean, I'm not seven years old. You can't boss me around." Sam continued to struggle, and quickly rolled out from Dean's hand, to the opposite side of the bed. He firmly planted his feet on the ugly orange carpet, and pushed himself to a sitting position, swaying lightly with the motion.

Bobby followed Dean's led and stepped around to the opposite side of the bed. "Nope, Sammy, it ain't happening." He offered firmly.

"You two are really pissing me off." Sam huffed out as he flopped back down against the pillows, angry glare on his features.

"Well, tough." Dean said firmly as he lightly threw the blankets back across his brother. "You are exhausted, and you need to rest. Bobby and I will do the research for this hunt. If you rest, and you're a good boy, I might let you out on the hunt tonight." Dean's hazel eyes flickered lightly at Sam.

Sam lips pursed in a firm straight line, his eyes squinted up at both men. "But I, I need to." Tears welled up in Sam's eyes and he blinked them back sluggishly. _ He was so tired. _

"No Sam." Dean spoke again as he reached his fingers up and tugged through Sam's too long hair. "Just rest brother; please, just rest."

Sam fought the calming motion that eased across his body from Dean's light comforting touch. _ He wished Dean would stop that, he always did that when he was little. It made him sleepy._ He let his eyes fall to half mast as he spoke to his brother, "But Deaaaan, I need…help Tom, help …..you." His voice lulled down to a whisper and he slowly gave away to the sleep that his body so needed.

Dean sat for a long time like that, fingers tugging lightly through his baby brother's hair. _He remembered doing this many times when Sam was young. This one comforting motion, giving Sam relief from fear as a small child_.

Bobby watched the scene unfold before him. Sam struggled lightly against his older brother; then, momentarily, settling, his body and mind no longer resisting Dean's touch, he drifted off into oblivion.


	6. Chapter 6

**I'll try to Carry On**

**Chapter 6**

**By supernatural**

**A Brother's Keeper**

"Okay, you go interview all the victim's families. I'll stay here with Sam." Bobby nodded at Dean. "Here's the list." He slid a piece of paper into Dean's fingers, who gazed down at the long list with a slight frown.

"This is a long freak'n list." Dean offered, fingers stuffing it lightly in his front pocket. He eyed Bobby, and then looked down at his sleeping brother. "Tell me again, why don't you go?"

"Gees Dean, it's not that long, won't take you a couple of hours." He watched as Dean seems to grow anxious for a moment, then gazed back at this brother. "He'll be fine Dean. I want to talk to him. I'll be right here. I promise. I won't let him get to me with those big doe eyes. Now get going, I want to know exactly where we need to go look for Tom before dark."

Dean nodded his head slightly and gave Bobby an ominous stare. "Okay, but if anything happens and he needs me… Call….I mean it." He shuffled out the hotel room doorway, giving Sam one last glance as the door shut behind him.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Dean eased the car down the long driveway of the home of Gerard Sanders. Gerald Sanders had disappeared last year while out in the woods between Stonebridge and Andersonville. He hoped he had more luck with this guy's family; the last six conversations had given him nothing but confused versions of what he already knew had happened. It was sad that this many people disappeared, all out hiking, or camping and no one had ever found a trace of them. He knew that Gerald's brother had been with him the day he disappeared, so hopefully he would provide a better description where the disappearance had occurred, and what had happened.

Dean's boots ground loudly on the gravel as he walked the short distance from the Impala through the weeds, and mud, to the dilapidated front porch. He stood their momentarily taking in the fact the house and yard looked unkept, and in bad need of repair. He lightly knocked on the door, hoping that Mason Sanders, younger brother to Gerard was there. According to Bobby, Mason and Gerard had been fishing on Carpenter Creek when the older brother went missing. Although he disappeared without a trace, blood was found on the ground and around his fishing rod, lying in the grass.

He shuffled his feet, the rickety old porch creaking with his motions. He was just about to give up talking with Mason Sanders, when the door came open with a loud thud, gun barrel staring him in the face.

"Who the hell are you? What the hell do you want?"

A young man about Sam's age stood before him. He was tall, his dark hair too long, hanging limply covering his eyes. He was way too thin, which was obvious to Dean by the way his clothes hung loosely on his body. He looked pale, dark circles under his eyes, and sad, just sad. Dean eased both hands up, eyes staring at the young man in front of him.

"I'm with the sheriff's department. I'm here about your brother's disappearance." He watched as the young man's fingers loosened slightly on the gun and his shoulder's seemed to sage with the information. "I got a badge, here. Reaching for my badge, okay?"

The young man nodded his head slightly, his now barely visible green eyes watching Dean through wayward clumps of hair. Dean's hand moved slowly and made purchase with the badge in his front pocket, flipping it out for the young man to see.

The shotgun dropped hesitantly to his side and he pulled the door open. "Haven't I told everyone about this like 100 times now?" Mason Sanders whispered, and stepped backwards, allowing Dean to enter the front door.

"Yea, I just got assigned to this case. You know, giving a new perspective will hopefully get to the bottom of it." Dean offered as his eyes darted around the bleary, dark room and back to Mason. He heard the gun thud against the coffee table and the young man's body fall softly to the couch. He looked down, and eased himself into the chair next to him.

"So, your brother, can you tell me what happened?" He noticed the emotion that raged across the young man's face, and felt his own chest tighten.

"We…we went fishing; my brother and me. My big brother, he was the best. He raised me when my folks died." The young man spoke softly, and seemed to be struggling to stay in control. He stopped, cleared his throat and continued. "We liked to fish at different spots and that day we picked a new one up on Carpenter Creek. It was a good day." A small grin curled up on the grief stricken face. Mason tugged his hand through his hair, and gazed up at Dean with big owlish eyes. _ Dean shuffled slightly, this guy reminded him of Sammy in so many ways. _

"So what happened?" Dean's voice was gentle. _For some reason, he went into 'big brother mode', Mason just seemed like he needed that at the moment. _

The young man looked at Dean, blinking several times to clear his damp lids. "Like I said, we were fishing. I had walked down a around some trees from Gerard, so I couldn't see him, but we were still talking, kind of yelling at each other. He loved to pick on me. You know, brag bout how he was going to catch the bigger fish, just like he always got the hot girls." A wide grin flashed across Mason's face, and Dean smiled. _Sounds just like a big brother._

"One minute he was making fun of me, the next he screamed. I thought at first he was joking around, he did that with me a lot. Always playing pranks on each other."

Dean nodded and grinned. "I have a kid brother, I know how that is." _A warm feeling ran through Dean at the reminder of his little brother._

"I yelled his name, and he didn't answer. I ran back around the clump of trees and I saw my brother being dragged off into the woods. He was covered in blood…I…I tried to run after him, but it was too fast. It was hairless, ugly, and it had long arms. It was dragging my brother, he was unconscious. I…I… don't know what it was…. I…I lost…lost them in the trees…. I….I looked all afternoon and into the night. I never…I couldn't….I didn't find him."

The room was silent as Dean gave Mason Sanders a moment to compose himself. He couldn't help it, when his own hand came down to rest lightly on the young man's forearm. "It's okay, take your time." He offered.

Mason looked up at Dean again, then quickly wretched his arm from Dean's comforting fingers, shirtsleeve brushing across his eyes. He put his firm 'I am in control look' back on his face. "Can't be a cry baby, Gerard wouldn't like that." He stood and paced the room, as Dean watched; he stopped and stared longingly at a photograph of himself, and someone whom Dean supposed was his older brother, then turned quickly to look at Dean.

"I went back every day. Still go back all the time, but I never found him, any trace of him, or that thing that took him. The cops, well I think they all think I am nuts." He eased out a heavy sigh, "Maybe I am." He plopped down on the couch again and leered over at Dean through his long hair. "They told me to stop looking. But I have to know what happened to my brother. I have too…" he whispered.

Dean stood, smiling forlornly at the young man. "I understand. I do. I have a brother; I know how you must feel. I believe you, Mason." _His heart ached for the young man. This reminded him too much of Sam. The Sam after Dean was gone. The Sam that Dean would be creating when he gave his life to the crossroad demon. _He shivered slightly from the realization, and stepped slowly toward the front doorway.

Mason's face lightened slightly as he blinked over at Dean. "Really…you believe me?" He stood up and walked quickly to the door, wide eyes gleaming at Dean.

"Yes Mason, I believe you. I'm going to get to the bottom of this, I promise you that much."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Bobby Singer gazed at his wrist watch and back to Sam. _2:30, bout time for Dean to get back here. _He poured himself another cup of black coffee and turned as he heard a slight rustling in the bed.

"Sammy?" he tugged a chair to the side of the bed and sat down, coffee sloshing in the cup. He took a large gulp and gazed at Sam.

"Bobby?" Sam blinked and brought his hands up to rub the sleep out of the corners of his eyes, pushing fisted palms up against his eyes and twisting lightly.

A smile slowly flowed across Bobby's lips, as he nodded at Sam. "Yep, it's me." _He looks so freaking young when he did that. Just like the five year old he used to baby-sit while his Dad hunted. _"You hungry, kiddo?"

Sam smiled as he tugged himself up higher on the pillows, head propping up against the headboard. "Yea, I could definitely eat something." He grinned.

"Good, good. I'll fix you some soup." Bobby stood, handing his half empty cup of coffee over to Sam. "Here, drink this; it will tide you over till I get the soup made."

Sam grinned and took the offered cup of coffee from Bobby's fingers. He cringed lightly as he swallowed the rich, dark, java. _He normally drank his with sugar and crème, but he would just give Bobby his moment here. _"Thanks. Where's Dean?"

"He went to question some of the victim's families. He should be back here anytime."

"So what we up against here Bobby? We need to get a move on, find Tom." Sam's voice was serious, as he glared at Bobby standing in front of the small microwave, cup of soup heating inside.

"I think it's a Wendingo, or something like one. The people are all missing, go out, and never come back."

He eased the cup of soup from the microwave, and carried it slowly back to Sam. "Here you go. I expect you to drink it all. You hear?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "You're as bad as Dean."

"Oh, I am worse than Dean, because I'm like your uncle. I can so kick your ass." Bobby cackled as he sat back down in the chair and faced Sam.

Sam grinned and slurped the soup loudly.

_**I had time to post a new chapter, and thought I would get on it. This school and work is hard to do!! Hope you all enjoy. Review please. Thanks- supernaturaldh**_


	7. Chapter 7

**I'll Try to Carry On**

**Chapter 7**

**By supernaturaldh**

**Someone Lean On**

"Okay Sam, what's going on with you?" Bobby leaned back in his chair, eyes squinting up as he watched Sam slurping the soup.

A dark shadow fell across Sam's features as he wretched the cup away from his lips, letting the liquid slosh up and over the edge of the cup. _He did not want to talk about the deal, his brother, or his feelings. _He shuffled slightly and sat the half drank cup of soup on the nightstand next to the bed. His eyes fell intently to his hands as he clasped them loosely against the blanket covering his lap.

"Bobby…please…" he whispered. "I don't …want…want to talk about it." _He would not accept this destiny, this future, without Dean. _

Bobby shifted to his feet and stepped to the bed, he slowly eased himself down next to Sam, eyes staring at him with concern. He couldn't help but cringe internally at the dark circles, pale skin, and black bruises that decorated the youngest Winchester's face. He looked exhausted. _This boy was a mess._ "Sam, I know you want to find away to get Dean out of the deal, I understand it, but you are not doing any good running yourself down. You need to talk to me."

Sam raised his head to meet Bobby's face, tears glistening in his eyes. "I can't stop Bobby. He's my brother. I can't do this without him. I don't …don't want to do this without him." He brushed angrily at the tears that rolled down his cheeks.

San looked tired, lost, defeated. Bobby raised his hand and gently clutched his shoulder, tugging the youngest Winchester to rest against his chest, holding Sam's neck, firm and steady. He felt Sam tremble as anger, fear, and frustration assaulted his weary body.

"Don't…me…I. don't...please…" Sam struggled to get away, his hands pushing firmly against Bobby's chest, breathe hitching. A noticeable quiver of emotion ran across his taunt muscles and he slowly fell forward, letting his head rest against Bobby's collarbone. Hot tears welled in his eyes and dropped silently to Bobby's shirt.

Bobby held firm, never faltering or releasing Sam. He tugged the young hunter even closer as he felt Sam's emotions bubble over; the grief of six long months shaking him to the very core. He held on tightly, as Sam cried. _He hated this. He hated that Sam felt he was in this all alone. He wasn't alone. He had to make him understand that he wasn't alone. _

Bobby didn't know how long they sat like that, him comforting Sam, Sam letting his feelings wash over them both like a tidal wave. "Listen Sam, you are not alone. You understand me? Blinking back his own tears, Bobby gave him a tight hug, tugging his chin up to look him straight in the eye. "We will get Dean out of the deal, we will. I believe it, Sam, do you hear me?"

Slowly, Sam's tears ceased, his body slowly slacking against Bobby's, his head rising hesitantly to look blearily at the older man. "We will?" He whispered insecurely. His eyes a question mark of insecurity blinking owlishly at Bobby.

"We will!" Bobby's tone was firm, his eyes glinting, and fingers latching on to Sam's arms. He gave Sam a firm shake, and an all knowing nod. The younger man allowed him to take total control of the situation, to throw him a lifeline as he drifted in the open sea of insecurity and confusion. He nodded gradually, as his mind grasped the meaning of Bobby's words and he latched on to them, a weight lifting from his chest. "We will." He said firmly. He pushed away from Bobby's hold and wiped his face with his shaky hands, slight grin rising to his lips, faint look of embarrassment shading across his face. Bobby_ was with him in this; they would succeed, they would save Dean, Bobby said so. _

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The sun was just above the tree line when the sleek black Impala pulled into the hotel parking. Dean turned off the ignition and let his thoughts soak in the last interview he had with Mason Sanders, his head leaning momentarily against the steering wheel, as he gripped it harshly. He could still see Mason's sad expression and it was a cruel reminder of his own fate, of Sam's fate. The deal with the crossroad demon, and Sam's future without him made him tremble. While he was fearful of going to hell, he was more afraid of Sam surviving in a demon filled world without him. _ If he could just kill all the damn demons before he left in six months, then Sammy would be safe._ The thoughts of his brother and the present predicament caused him to shake off his feelings, and shift quickly to open the driver's door. Stepping out into the cold February air, he scuffed up the steps of the Country Inn, two at a time, and pushed open room 2B.

Sam looked up from his paperwork to Dean, his hazel eyes glinting at him. "Hey." He whispered.

"Hey yourself." Dean smiled warmly, turning slightly on the balls of his feet; he fixed his eyes on Bobby sitting at the table behind him. Bobby gave him a large smile and a nod of his head, and he felt some of worry relaxing from his body. _The smile and nod from Bobby meant the world to him. He had talked to Sammy. Dean was not sure what he said, but obviously it helped. Sammy seemed better. _

He plunked his car keys down on the table and thudded lightly to the opposite chair. "So, that was a bust." He stated firmly. "I interviewed seven family members of people that were missing, only information I got was from Gerard Sanders brother, he said he saw something drag his brother off. The cops didn't believe him. He watched as his brother was dragged off by a hairless, ugly creature that had long arms. I think it's safe to say it's a Wendigo."

"Okay, did he tell you where they were at the time his brother went missing? The police report is kind of vague on it." Bobby stood, grabbing his jacket from the chair and shoving it on.

"He said they were at Carpenter Creek, about five miles east of public parking area. They parked and walked in to go fishing."

"So let's go." Bobby offered.

Dean eased himself up, latching his keys from the table.

They both turned as they heard the shuffling behind them, research papers flying from Sam's fingers and landing on the floor. Sam sat up, perched on the edge of the bed, feet sliding into his sneakers. Four eyes darted from Sam to each other, and then back to Sam.

"Sammy, you sure you're up for this?" Dean gazed at his brothers pale face, shadows under his eyes, bruises decorating his face. He watched him closely as he reached down to tie his shoes.

"Yeah, I am fine, Dean", Sam said angrily, eyes glaring up from his shoes to Dean. He thrust himself to stand up, fingers latching up his jacket from the floor as he stood up, determined look on his face. Dean eyes squinted at Bobby, who gave him a slight shrug and eased out the doorway.

Dean stared at his brother, giving him the once over. "You sure you're up for this?"

"Yes, I said I was, didn't I?" Sam huffed and rolled his eyes.

Dean took a step toward the doorway, his hands going up in a defensive manner. "Okay dude, I believe you." He turned to follow Bobby out the door, head shaking in a disbelieving motion.

Neither man turned, or saw the younger sway, his knees buckling. No one saw the fingers gripping for the bedpost or the eyes blinking momentarily to clear his vision. No one saw him struggle to gain his equilibrium before he silently followed behind.


	8. Chapter 8

**I'll Try to Carry On**

**Chapter 8**

**By supernaturaldh**

**Just Tell Me Next Time**

The cold wind whipped around the Impala, the gravel slinging out around the tires as the car pulled to a halt at Carpenter's Creek Parking Lot. The vehicle had taken the three hunters as far as it could go; now the remaining trek to the creek and surrounding woods would have to be made on foot. Bobby's eyes scanned the empty lot through the windshield, suddenly fixing against the Chevy truck that sat parked in the corner, beneath some trees.

"There's Toms' truck." Bobby's concerned tone echoed through the car as all three hunters turned to gaze at it.

"Well, at least we know he made it to this point, and he's still here." Dean offered, as he swallowed down the knot that had just formed in his throat. He pushed open the driver's door and scuffled to the trunk. Bobby followed Dean's actions, hovering over the trunk as both men shoved weapons, medical supplies, matches, gasoline, and flare guns in their jackets.

Sam gradually edged his way out of the back seat, right hand gripping unsteadily on the passenger door as he listened to his brother and Bobby discussing the situation. He could hear their exchange of words, all about weapons, supplies, and Tom as they readied for the hunt. Dean's tone was excited, and Sam could tell he was once again ready to go into the hunt full guns blazing. He cringed at his brother's words and actions, but said nothing. _He really did not think Dean would make it another six months, with this gung ho attitude of his. _ He drew in a ragged breathe and turned to move to the trunk. _ He felt sluggish and slow, and it was all he could do to concentrate on exiting the car._

"Sam?" Dean's words muffled over the top of the open trunk to rest on Sam's ears, "You going to get some of this stuff or what?" His head darted around the corner of the trunk, his eyes resting on his brother's dawdling form.

"Yeah, I'm coming." Sam's words were a whisper as he reached the trunk and leaned down, grabbing a flare gun, salt pellets and a bottle of water and stuffing them in his coat pockets. He slung his shotgun under his arm and turned to gawk at his brother. "I got what I need." He offered with a slight grin.

"Took you long enough." Dean slammed the trunk closed with a thud and edged up behind Bobby.

"Okay, we will make our way toward Carpenter Creek. Not sure if it's a wendigo or what, so stay together, keep your eyeballs peeled, if you see anything, yell." Bobby ordered as he led the way from the car into the thick brush and trees, making a path toward the sound of running water far off in the distance. Dean and Bobby's eyes darted slowly around the woods, taking in every tree, rock, and mound of dirt. Sam followed at a snail's pace, his eyes focusing on putting one foot in front of the other.

snsnssnsnsnsnsnsnsnsn

Tom Baldwin craned his neck just slightly, he could see the sunlight in the sky, but it was far above him, way too far to climb out. _Climb out… what a joke. I can't even stand up at this point._ The ground he was lying on was cold and damp. The air around him dank and putrid. The smell of death hovered in the small confined space, and made him want to gag. He couldn't remember how long he had been here, fading in and out of consciousness, but he knew it had been awhile. He had drunk most of the water he had brought with him. _ A hunter always carries extra water on his person, always prepared for the long hall. _He laughed lightly. _What a mess he had gotten himself into this time. _He glanced down at his cell phone, busted when he was dumped in this hole, falling some nine feet to the bottom. _What a dumb ass, caught by a Wendigo. Bobby Singer would have a hay day with that one; that is, if he ever saw Bobby Singer again. _He shuffled slightly, leaning his head against the caves hard wall as a sharp pain traveled up his leg from his badly broken ankle. He had tried to stand on it, to push the large boulder that blocked the only other entrance out of the way, but he had lacked the strength. _Of course Wendigo's are super strong, so the damn thing had no trouble coming in after him, or the others that had been down here before him. The damn thing was smart; he would give that one to it. Finding a whole in the top of a cave, and dumping the bodies down into it was pretty darn clever, even for a dumb ass creature. _He cringed as he looked about the cave in the faint light; pieces of others, bones of victims, blood, tattered bits of clothing surrounded him. The remnants of the victims that came before him, and the death they succumbed to, decorated the floor. _He had come here to figure out what was going on, and figure it out, he had. The freaking hard way. Now, he was a victim, the Wendigo's next snack, when the urge struck him again._

snsnsnsnsnsnsns

Sam could see the back of Dean's head, bobbling along about ten feet in front of him; Bobby's solid steps following right behind. He tugged his coat closer around his body. _ It was freaking freezing out here._ They had been walking about 45 minutes and the sound of the creek was growing steadily louder. _Boy, he was tired; he wished Dean would slow down. He could hear his brother and Bobby talking, but he was not really listening to the conversation. He just wanted to take a little break. _He silently eased himself down on a large rock, eyes still watching the back of his brother's head. _He would just take a second; rest a minute. _He sipped lightly from the water bottle he was carrying and stowed it safely back in his jacket pocket. His tired eyes watched Bobby and Dean go deeper and deeper into the wooded area in front of them. _ He needed to get back up, to follow._ The thought played out in his head as his sluggish eyelids tugged closed and his body slumped against the side of a tree, sleep pulling him silently under to the darkness.

snsnsnsnsnsnsns

They had been walking about an hour and Dean was ready to take a break. He was sure his little brother needed one. He stopped abruptly, and turned on the ball of his feet to gaze at Bobby. "Let's take a break for a minute. I am sure Sa...m..., where's Sam?" He looked curiously at Bobby and then let his eyes wonder the area just behind them. "Damn it, where's Sam, Bobby?"

Bobby turned quickly and let his eyes dart around the wooded area and then back to Dean. "He was right behind me, I checked not five minutes ago."

"Son of a bitch, he's not right behind your ass now." Dean's tone was angry, scared, and overcome with emotion all at the same time.

Hastily back tracking the way they had come, Dean's eyes darted around, his body on autopilot as he shuffled in a nervous run through the rough underbrush, weeds, and trees looking for Sam. Bobby was right beside him, heart thudding in his chest. _How the hell had this happened? Where the hell was Sam?_

"Let's split up, you go left; I'll go right." Dean said in a concerned tone, his eyes straining to see. _Damn it Sam. I should have kept you in my vision the whole freaking time. _

Snsnsnsnsnsn

Sam woke suddenly. _Was that Dean calling his name? Where was he? Holy Shit, I feel asleep. Dean is going to kill me._ He stumbled to his feet, pushing off against the tree trunk to gain his momentum. _His head hurt and he still felt tired._ He walked lazily toward the sound of Dean's irrational yelling of his name, dread creeping up in his bones. _His brother was going to be so freaking pissed._ He sucked in a weary breathe, knowing he had to acknowledge Dean. _He sure did not want to. _He cringed slightly, and cleared his throat. "DEAN, I'm over here." He yelled loudly.

Several moments later, his older brother appeared through the thick brush, eyes darting up and down Sam's lean frame, questioning look on his face. He was winded, and struggled to get out the words, "You hurt? Where are you hurt?" Dean's hands fell to his knees, body leaning forward, as he gasped in air to his lungs. "Sam?" His eyes gazed up at Sam.

"I'm okay." Sam whispered, his pale face staring down intently at his brother. "I sat down for a minute." _I'm not telling him I fell asleep. He would never let me live that one down._

"It was longer than a minute Sam. You were pretty far behind Bobby and me." An angry snarl rose to Dean's lips, as he stood to his full height, and looked piercingly at his little brother. "You don't do that, you tell someone, you know the rules." Dean spit out vehemently.

"I'm sorry; I guess I sat too long." Sam looked at Dean with his big doe eyes, tears glistening in just beneath his lashes.

The anger subsided quickly from his brother's face, and concern edged back up to his features. "It's okay; just…just tell me next time. Okay? No damage done." _What was up with Sam? He probably should not even be out here on this hunt. He still looked pale, and tired, overemotional. _They stood for a moment in silence, eyes fixed on one another. "You know, we can go back Sam. We don't have to be here. Bobby can do it." Dean eyed his brother's face, waiting on a reaction.

"I'm fine, I got a head…" He could see the concern etching itself across Dean's face. "Forget it. Where's Bobby?" Sam shrugged and looked past Dean, around the woods.

"He's looking over there, for your ass." Dean's finger waggled in front of him, pointing behind Sam's head to the large area of trees.

"BOBBY…I found him. BOBBY?" Dean yelled loudly as both he and Sam started walking toward the area that Dean last saw Bobby. They stopped after a few tentative steps and looked around the vicinity. No sound came from anywhere, no yell, or smart ass remark made its way to their ears. The silence was deafening.

Sam's eyes grew wide as he looked from the area, to Dean.

"Shit" Dean whipped around on his feet, eyes gazing around them both in a large circular motion. "Sammy…." His hand dodged to Sam's shoulder and gently nudged him until he was well behind him.

"BOBBY?" he yelled again. "Son of a bitch."


	9. Chapter 9

**I'll Try to Carry On**

**Chapter 9**

**By supernaturaldh**

**Down in the Hole**

Bobby Singer's eyes glanced around the perimeter looking for Sam. _Where the hell did that boy go? If something happened to him, well, he would not be a happy camper. Damn it, he new Sam wasn't up for this. He should have ordered him to stay back at the motel._ A sudden noise to his right made him turn quickly, wide eyed and gaze directly into face of the ugliest creature he had ever seen. _And let's face it; he had laid eyes on a lot of ugly mugs in his lifetime. _ His mind worked quickly to comprehend what was going on. _This was a Wendigo, just as he thought; only fire would kill it. _He hastily dropped his shotgun to the ground, and whipped his hand into his jacket to pull out his flare gun. "Shit, shit, shit." _ He was fast, but not fast enough._ He felt the wind rise around him as the Wendigo plunged in one large jump toward him, knocking him to the ground, the flare gun bouncing out of his grasp and tumbling to the dirt. _Now he remembered why you brought back up with you, someone to watch your back. What a stupid thing to do, split up from Dean. And Sam, well he was kicking his ass next time he saw him. _He cringed momentarily as he felt the Wendigo's large claw slap him across the head, sharp nails digging into the side of his face, knocking his baseball cap off his receding hairline. He fell in slow motion backwards as darkness rose in his peripheral vision, oblivion slowly taking him under.

snsnsnsnsnsnsn

Tom Baldwin heard the rustling of weeds, and shrubs in the distance, and the distinct sound of something being dragged across the ground. He peered up through the small whole way above him, squinting to focus his vision to the sky and trees. He heard the heavy breathe of the Wendigo, and shuddered, he new it had claimed another victim. _He just wondered how long it would be before he decided to come down through the cave and have his next snack._ The ugly, bug eyed face creature made its way to the hole, and bared its teeth down at him. _You ugly son of a bitch, I am so going to kill you._ He watched as the Wendigo lifted up a body of a man and flung it haphazardly down the opening. He leaned back as far as he could against the dank wall, pulling and tugging his broken ankle with him. _God, please don't let that guy fall on my ankle!_ The body thudded harshly against the dirt floor of the small opening, and Tom gazed directly at the prone form now lying still on the cold ground. _Son of a bitch_. He inched his way across the ground, dragging his broken ankle with him. _The pain made his eyes water, but he had to check on this guy._ He reached his hand down and slowly turned the older man over; his own breathe caught in his chest and his heart began thumping loudly in his ears. _Bobby? Oh god. _He leaned forward, his eyes falling to Bobby's silent features. He was a mess, large cuts decorating his check and neck, from the claws of the Wendigo. He was unconscious, and Tom was sure the fall did not help him at all. He slowly moved his hands down the sides of Bobby's lax body checking him for other injuries. _Seemed like Bobby must have landed on his head, no other injuries could be found. Good in a way, bad in another. _Tom quickly reached into his jacket, lying on the ground and pulled out his medical kit. _Yep, a hunter is always prepared. What a joke that was, now he and Bobby were both down this damn hole, waiting to be dinner. _He tore the bottom of his shirt, ripping off a piece of cloth. He poured the last of his bottled water across it and wiped gently at the cuts, gouges, and blood cover the left side of Bobby's face.

"Come on old man, wake up and talk to me." He whispered.

Bobby's eyelashes fluttered lightly against his cheeks. Tom continued to tend to his friends face, blotting it gently with peroxide. One large claw mark was very deep, from behind his ear to his mouth, the rest were superficial. He pushed the rag evenly, holding it steadily against the congealing blood on the large gash. Bobby's eyes twitched slightly, his face scrunching up in a painful motion.

"That's it, wake up you old son of a bitch." Tom chuckled to himself as he continued to wipe the blood away and examine Bobby's injuries.

Suddenly, Bobby's eyes sprang open, confusion staring up at Tom as he struggled for a moment, not remembering what had happened. Tom placed a steadying hand on his forehead, forcing him to lay still.

"Shah, it's okay. I gotcha Bobby. You're okay."

Slow recognition rose to Bobby's eyes as he relaxed and gazed intently up at Tom. He blinked quickly in an attempt to clear his fuzzy vision. "Tom, is that you?"

"In the flesh, old man. Take it easy, you took quite a knock on the head when that damn Wendigo dumped you in this hole. If I had known it was you, I might have broken your fall."

"Hole? Bobby's eyes darted around and then back to Tom's face.

"Oh yeah, we're in a hole, with no way out, but that there boulder." He pointed to the large rock next to Bobby's head blocking the entrance to the hole. "We are also its next meal buddy." Tom grinned and pushed Bobby's hand up to hold the rag against the harsh cut on his cheek and ear. "You okay, anything hurt?"

"Just my freaking head, can't see to well either." Bobby's head fell limply backward as Tom shuffled his jacket beneath his friends head.

"Well, I am sure you have a concussion. I think you landed on your big ole head, buddy, and with no ball cap to take the brunt of the impact." Tom laughed loudly at his little joke.

Bobby's eyes squinted up at Tom and a sneer rose on his lips. "So, you been in this hole long, oh wise one?"

"Shut up." Tom quipped. "Besides, look who decided to drop in for a visit. Obviously, the damn thing got the jump on you too!"

"Sure as hell did, son of a bitch." Bobby pushed shakily to rise up. Tom gripped his arms and helped him move to a sitting position, leaning him against the damp rock wall.

"I though you would come save my ass, not be down in this damn hole with me." Tom grinned, and then let out a slight grimace as a pain shot up his leg.

"You okay?" Bobby concerned face gazed at Tom.

"Yeah, just broke my ankle when it dumped me down here." Both men's eyes fell to the badly swollen ankle, wrapped neatly in Tom's undershirt.

"Good field dressing their dude." Bobby offered with a smile.

"Oh yeah, being a medic in the war paid off this time." Both men sat staring blankly in front of them. The 7 x 7 hole barely big enough for the two of them.

"So how we going to get out of this mess?" Tom spoke as he looked over at Bobby.

The space in front of Bobby's face was wavering, his vision foggy, he blinked slowly and took a moment to gather his thoughts, then whispered. "Dean and Sam are here."

"They are?" Tom's face lightened at that information. "Alright," He grinned, "Winchesters to the rescue."

"I don't know about that. Sam's not doing to well right now. I think too much to deal with. "The hunting and deal with the crossroad demon. I think he is running himself down with his unrelenting search to get his brother out of it. He doesn't sleep or eat anymore. That's not a good combination for anyone."

"Shit, I wish we could find a way to get Dean out of that damn deal." Tom gripped his thigh tightly as his leg shot another pain to his senses.

"We will, if we ever get out of this freaking hole." Bobby nodded slowly, his eyes drooping closed.

"Hey you, don't go to sleep. Bobby, I mean it." Tom gave his arm a slight shake and Bobby tugged open his bleary lids.

"I know, I know. I had a damn concussion before."

"Well then, don't give me crap old man." Tom patted his friend on the arm and leaned his head back against the damp wall. "You got your cell phone?" His head rises and eager eyes staring at Bobby.

"Nope, I left it in the car." Bobby mumbled.

"Shit." Tom frowned and leaned heavily back against the wall.

"Okay Dean, get your ass down here and get us out of here." Bobby chuckled slightly, and looked up. Both men sighed, four eyes gazing raggedly toward the sunlight above their heads.

snsnssnsnsnsn

Dean Winchester's eyes fell to Bobby's gun lying against the cold, damp, grass. The sight caused his stomach to clinch up in a tight knot. He reached down grasp the item, anxiety brimming just beneath the surface. "SAM…" He glared up as this little brother.

Sam was standing some fifteen feet to his left, eyes scanning the area for any sign of Bobby. He tilted his head slowly, gazing across at the rifle now posed in Dean's fingers. He heaved in a slight breathe of air as he struggled with the realization that the creature had gotten Bobby. _My fault, if I hadn't fell asleep, if they hadn't split up._ He made his way hastily toward his brother, stopping suddenly when his eyes fell to the white ball cap just in front of his path. He reached down with shaky fingers to pick it up, turning it slightly to see the blood splattered down the side of it. _He felt ill. _The gagging reflex rose in Sam's throat; he fought to stay in control, and swallowed convulsively against it. "Dean", he whispered.

Dean glanced toward his brother and watched as the remaining color drained from his already pale face in one swift motion. Sam's fingers trembled visibly as he held tautly to Bobby's baseball cap, eyes blinking slowly.

Shaking off his own feelings, Dean rushed toward Sam and grabbed the cap from his shaky fingers. He cringed as he saw the blood that decorated the left hand side of it. "Damn it, Bobby." he muttered.


	10. Chapter 10

**I'll Try to Carry On**

**Chapter 10**

**By supernaturaldh**

**Down In the Hole**

The sun was falling behind the clouds, the sky becoming a dusky orange color as it sat behind the trees. The slight wind caused a chill in the air and it cut through Sam's jacket easily, causing his body to give a slight shudder. He tugged at his collar, scrunching it tighter around his neck. He forced his tired legs to keep working, to follow his brother, keep searching for Bobby and Tom. They had been looking well over an hour, no luck finding either man, or spotting the creature they were looking for.

Dean edged up the slight incline, eyes peering back around at his little brother. _Just making sure he's still behind me._ He could tell Sam was cold, tired, but like him, relentless in his search for their friends. He turned around, walking backwards as his eyes gazed his brother.

"You okay back there?" Dean's voice carried across the dim sky toward Sam, his body moving backwards up the grade, boots shuffling through the dead leaves.

Sam glanced up at his brother just ahead of him. "I'm fine, Dean, keep looking." Sam's tired eyes cast to the side as he continued his search.

"There's got to be a trail here somew……." Dean's voice fell off, "Son of a …." Then a loud thud and nothing.

Sam's eyes flitted back to his brother, or where his brother was only a moment before.

"Holy Crap" A familiar sound echoed into Sam's ears. "Dean?" The distinct sound of a confused voice permeated up from the ground.

Sam shuffled on his sneakers toward his brother's last position. "Dean? DEAN?" His voice rose with anxiety. _Where was his brother? Where was that voice coming from?_

"Sam, hey Sammy, Be careful. Dean's down here." Tom's voice was distinctly his own, and Sam recognized it immediately. Confusion marked his face as he stepped toward Tom's voice. Glancing down, he steeled his foot as he saw the hole in front if him. _What the hell? _His eyes pierced through the dim light, he shuffled his hand in his pocket, and flicked on the flashlight. "Dean?" He was greeted with the light beam gleaming against Tom Baldwin's grin. "Tom?" He moved the light over and saw the still form of his brother, lying across Bobby Singer's legs, dazed eyes staring over at Bobby, who was rubbing his fingers gently across Dean's cheek.

"Dean? You with me here buddy?" Bobby's tone was concerned as he looked intently at Dean. "Sam, shine the light on your brother." He ordered. Sam complied, fingers shaking lightly as he moved the light against his brothers still body. Bobby examined Dean's face. He watched as his brother sucked in air and regained his senses.

"Bobby?" Dean pushed off weakly against the older hunter, until the sharp pain radiated down his arm and he huffed in air quickly. "Shit, my shoulder. Ah….god, my shoulder is out of socket." Dean flopped back against Bobby, who looked through the dim light at Tom.

"Tom, help." Bobby's voice cracked with emotion, as he looked over at Tom Baldwin.

Tom moved slowly, his broken ankle dragging across the dirt, as he eased up next to Dean. "Sam, hold the light still." Tom's voice boomed up at Sammy.

"…Kay", Sam laid his gun down on the grass beside him and fell to his knees, holding the flashlight with both his hands, resting it against his kneecaps, attempting to keep a steady beam of light on his brother.

"Okay, Dean. On three I'm pulling this shoulder back into place. You ready….one, two…"

Dean's scream pierced through the evening air and permeated Sam's ears. He wretched uncomfortably in the knowledge that his brother was in pain, and he couldn't do a thing about it. The beam of light shook in his hands, as he watched Dean succumb to the ache that engulfed him and fall limply back into Bobby.

"Dean? Is he okay? Bobby?" Sam's fear driven voice reverberated down the hole.

"He's fine Sam, just give it a minute." Tom removed his belt, and Bobby held Dean's arm across his chest. Tom cinched it tightly, holding Dean's arm and shoulder firmly in place.

"Dean?" Again, Bobby roused the slumping Winchester, Dean rolling up against him, his fingers clutching against the elders shirt, as the pain began to subside slowly. He blinked gradually up at Bobby's face, and gave a fleeting look over at Tom. He rolled his eyes and let his head loll back against Bobby. _He just needed a minute to regroup here. He was in a hole. How the hell did that happen? _

"Dean?" Sam's question filled tone echoed from his perch on the edge of the hole.

Dean's head rose, his eyes squinting up at the beam of light. _I'm okay Sammy._ "Jez, Sammy, get the damn light out of my eyes." He croaked.

Sam relaxed with the sound of his brother's voice, and the light shimmed downward to graze against the dirt and rock above the hunter's heads. He released a breath that he had been holding for the last couple of minutes, suddenly feeling very, very tired. He sat silently on the ground, eyes gazing down at the three men he admired the most, all stuck in a hole below him. _What a sight. I can't believe this._ It suddenly seemed very funny to him and a burst of laughter escaped from his lips. All three heads turned up to look at Sam, astonishment in their features, as he giggled uncontrollably. The flashlight bounced around in his fingers, as the other hand wrapped around his middle. "You gu…guys, this is…..too….to…fun…ny." Tears rose in his eyes as he looked down at the three hunters. He giggled louder and flopped boneless against the grass next to the hole. His giggles rang piercingly around the trees, and down into the hole.

"Sam, what the hell?" Dean's voice boomed up. Sam's laughter was contagious and Dean could not help but be amused with his brother's giggles. He grinned, and then laughed, "Oh shit that hurts." Then he laughed harder. _He couldn't help it. Sammy always made him laugh when he got a case of the giggles. _

Tom chuckled lightly, and then he laughed heartily. _He had to admit, this was pretty damn funny._

Bobby gazed at them both and then let a cackle fall from his lips. "Stop…it…It hurts my head to laugh. Stop it... all of you." He ordered. But no listened to the command, and no one stopped laughing, in fact, his words made them laugh harder as the realization of the situation soaked in and settled on them all.

Snsnsnssnsnsn

Sam sat up and wiped the tears from his cheeks. He took a deep breathe as the last of the giggles ran their course and he regained control of his body. Once again he gazed down at the three men below him. Each propped uncomfortably in the very small hole. He listened as their laughter subsided, and they all sat, pondering the situation in silence.

"We need a rope." Sam finally stated flatly.

"There's one in the car." Dean offered up, as he pulled the flashlight and flare gun out of his coat pocket with his one working hand. He flicked the light on, and placed both items on the ground between himself, Tom, and Bobby.

Bobby gave him a surprised glare. "What the hell, Dean, you had a flashlight all this time?"

"I have a ladder rope in the back of my truck." Tom proudly stated as wide eyes fell against him.

"Really?" Bobby quirked. "Amazing." These two were something else.

"I'll go get it." Sam pushed himself to his feet, feeling his body sway slightly. He pulled his hand up to tug his hair out of his eyes as he looked down at the three sets of eyes gazed up at him. _He felt like he had a fever. Guess I better keep that one to myself. _

"No, Sam, it's getting dark." Dean's voice was a concerned, brotherly tone.

"Dean…he's gotta do it. There's no way out of here." Bobby stated as he looked across at Dean. _God his head was freaking pounding. _"We need to get out of here before that damn thing comes back."

"I don't see another way, Dean." Tom looked from Bobby to Dean.

"Sam, you go straight there and back. You keep your eyes peeled for that damn Wendingo, you hear me!" Dean yelled up at his brother. _He did not like this plan at all._ "You run Sam. You hurry, and get your ass back here."

Sam stood for a moment staring down at the hunters. _He could not believe this. _He slid his hand down and grabbed up his gun. He reached in his pocket and pulled out his flare gun. A wide grin rose on his face as he leered cockily down at the group. "I got it covered, dudes."

"Dudes? Sammy, what the hell. Would you get a gripe here? This ain't a damn terminator movie." Dean's eyebrows arched up as he pushed himself up to a standing position, stretching his good hand up as far as possible against the dirt and rock wall, his fingers clutching the air as he struggled to grasp his little brother. _If he could reach Sam at this moment, he would knock the snot right out of him._

Bobby rolled his eyes, as Tom chuckled. "Sam, you be careful, and get your ass back here." Bobby commanded.

"Yes sir." Sam smiled and nodded down at them one last time. "I'll be back." He stated in his best accent with a wide grin, and then he disappeared from their line of vision.

Dean rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. _Jesus, this was not the time for Sam to be making jokes. _"Shit", he whispered as he slid back down to the ground, pain running through his shoulder and into his neck. He pulled up his good hand, and tugged it slowly through his short hair. "Please let him be okay." He whispered.

Tom and Bobby eyed each other, and looked apprehensively back at Dean. Neither said a word, as the reality of the situation once again hit them all hard. They sat silently, each praying that Sam got to the truck, and back to them, without running into the Wendigo. They all three knew that one more man down the hole, and they were all goners.


	11. Chapter 11

**I'll Try to Carry On**

**Chapter 11**

**By supernaturaldh**

**Back to his Brother**

Sam's feet thudded loudly against the cold ground, his body jarring with every step. His lungs were gasping for air, his shaky legs throbbing with each movement. The tree limbs were whipping him harshly across the face, stinging with each little cut, but he did not slow down, would not stop. His mind was on one thing and one thing only. _Get to the truck, get the rope, and get back to his brother. _

It was getting hazy now, he could barely see. He stumbled over rocks, leaves, and branches. His thoughts spiraled in his head as he contemplated the need to do something to help himself see. _It's too dark, stop, for a second, swap the flare gun for the flash light. Stop. _ He came to an abrupt halt, soles of his sneakers sliding on the loose leaves. He leaned against a tree and willed himself to catch a breath. He could feel the hot sweat beading up on his brow, running down his neck; his hair sticking to his face. Cold air bore down on him, little puffs of ice seeming to dance lightly around his face as he gulped in air. He stuffed the flare gun in his jacket pocket, and gingerly pulled out the flashlight. His shaky, numb, fingers flicked on the light. He pushed off the tree and drug in another gulp of cold air. He forced himself to put one foot in front of the other, willed his body to run. _Dean said run, not to stop. He had to, he had to hurry. He had to. _

He wasn't sure how long he had been running, but he knew he was close. He could see a light in the distance, eliminating Carpenter's Creek parking lot. He knew he couldn't stop now, he was too close. _ He was so tired, and cold. His head hurt. A constant throb now; it spiked each time his sneakers made contact with the ground. _

He could see the Impala off in the dim distance, sitting crookedly under the old street light. He glanced over at his brother's baby, but ran past it toward the white truck. He pushed his body forward, as his lungs ached for more oxygen, his vision swimming lightly as he blinked. He thudded harshly against the truck as he made contact, his body still on a forward motion, not comprehending he was there, that he could stop running. His hand gripped the side of the truck bed, as he leaned down, dropping the flashlight and shotgun to the ground. He placed his hands on his knees. _He would just catch his breath a minute. Just a minute. _He tugged in the air, and stood there, swaying as one hand white knuckled the truck to keep upright. _Okay, just breathe, you're here now. Breathe, get the rope, and breathe. _

He heard the rustle of brush and the crunch of leaves beside him and turned hastily to see. _Oh god, what was that?_ His hand wretched down to grab up the shotgun as his vision tunneled slightly. His finger's made purchase just as he heard a voice speak in an apprehensive tone.

"Hey dude, you okay?" A firm hand grasped his arm to steady him, and he gazed intently at a face. It was a young man, just about his same age, looking at him through shaggy brown hair.

He let the shotgun fall slowly back to the ground. "Yeah, I'm okay…just give me a minute." He whispered. The young man's hand continued to clutch his arm and he took comfort in the steady grip. _ Get it together Winchester. You need to get back to Dean._

SNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Tom's foot bumped against the flashlight as he shimmed uncomfortably on the hard ground. He had been sitting on this dirt for three full days, he was hungry and tired. As long as he sat still, his ankle was numb, no longer throbbing. He watched as the dimming light flickered across the two faces staring back at him.

"You okay?" Bobby whispered, bleary eyes glaring at Tom, his head resting against the rock wall behind him.

"Yeah, I'm okay. My ankles numb now. I don't know if that's good or bad." He offered, as he clutched his kneecap, and nodded toward his foot.

"Where the hell is Sammy?" Dean's angry question rolled off his lips. He exhaled a long gasp of air, and tugged on his belted arm, curling it closely to his chest.

"Dean, he hasn't been gone that long." Bobby spoke sincerely. _He had only been gone thirty minutes. He knew it would take at least an hour, and that was if he ran the whole way. _"God, I hope he didn't run the whole way, he didn't look too good earlier today." He winced as he heard another worried sigh coming from Dean's lips.

"This was a bad idea." Dean stood slowly, his good hand steadying himself against the rock wall. His head hung down, his eyes gazing at the dirt. He felt a slight vibration against the stone, and he quickly raised his head, fingers grabbing up the flashlight from the ground and handing it to Bobby. "SHHHHH, I think the damn things back."

Bobby and Tom both tugged themselves to their feet, Tom leaning shakily against Bobby. Dean whipped the flare gun from his pocket and stepped back from the large stone that blocked the opening. The flashlight wavered against the moving rock. All three men pushed as far away from the stone as possible, eyes watching the moving stone, hearts thumping loudly in their own ears.

"Come on you son of a …." Dean murmured, as he held the flare gun steadily in his good hand, pointed directly at the rock.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Sam stood slowly, eyes gazing in the twilight sun at the face in front of him. A small smile curled on his lips. "Thank you."

"No problem. I saw you running out of the woods. Was something chasing you?" The young man shifted away from Sam, feet shuffling and crunching the leaves beneath his shoes.

"No, I was com...coming ba... back for a rope. See…seee?" Sam's shaky hand reached into the truck bed, flipping open the tool box in the back, and tugged out the rope ladder. "My brother and my friends all fell down a hole. I have to get back….th…they might get hurt."

"It's too dark dude, you won't ever find your way back."

"I have…have to…" Sam's voice quivered, a fever driven shiver racking his lean frame.

The young man looked intently at him. _This guy was in no shape to be roaming around these woods alone, let alone with that creature out here._ "I'm Mason Sanders." He extended his hand to Sam. "My brother, Gerard went missing out here about three months back. Something drug him away, I saw it. You don't need to be out here after dark."

Sam reached his hand out, "I'm Sam." His heart raced in his chest, and his vision swam, he blinked slowly and brought his fingers up to rub his sweat drenched brow. "We…we were look…looking for the creature. I think you talked to my brother Dean?"

"He's your brother?" Mason's eyes glistened over lightly as he looked at the ill man before him. "You're in no shape to go look for anybody." He reached his hands up and clutched Sam's arms. He watched as the expression on Sam's face went from questioning to fearful in a brief moment.

"I have…have to go…go find th...them." Sam stuttered out, fingers clutching the rope tightly to his chest. "I need to go…go now." His fevered eyes looked across at Mason, "I'm going now."

"Okay, okay. Listen, just hang on a minute." Mason's arms raised, palms facing Sam in a surrendering motion. "I'll go with you. I have been out here all my life, and everyday for the last three months. I know my way around in the dark."

Sam head nodded reluctantly at Mason, as he steadied himself against the side of the truck. He watched as Mason stepped to the tree behind them and grabbed up a backpack.

Mason reached in his bag and pulled out a flashlight. He quickly flipped the switch, a light glow reflecting across Sam's face. _This guy looked feverish to him. _"Okay, come on. Which way did you come?"

Sam nodded his head toward the path he had come from, his own light wavering lightly back in forth in his shaking fingers. He pushed off Tom's truck slowly, his head throbbing, his weak legs barely holding him up. _He really just wanted to lie down. Not happening right now. Get to Dean and help them._ Together the two young men began the long trek through the brush, weeds, and dead leaves in the darkening night air. Back the way Sam had come, back to the hole, and back to his brother.


	12. Chapter 12

**I'll try to Carry On**

**Chapter 12**

**By supernaturaldh**

**What If**

The large boulder quivered slightly and then began to move at a quick pace. Dean steadied his stance, feet firmly planted, eyes staring intently at the rock. He could hear the shallow breathing of Bobby and Tom next to him, neither man able to really do too much except hold each other up. He held his breath as the rock moved, rolling away from the opening it was covering. He squinted, his fingers twitching against the trigger of the flare gun, poised snuggly in his good hand. He blinked to clear his vision, his eyes falling directly into the snarling face of a Wendigo.

He tilted his head slightly, a cocky grin rising on his lips as he whispered, "So long, you son of a bitch." He tugged his finger hastily against the trigger as the Wendigo sprang at him from his position outside the hole. He briefly saw the snarling fangs, the nasty salvia drooling down its chin, as it pounced toward him, outstretched claws grappling to reach him. The bright light blinded him momentarily, the flash permeating the darkness. He blinked unconsciously at the vicious, hostile tone that escaped the Wendigo as it lit up in a bright orange blaze.

The three hunters stood stock still, eyes gawking at the burning creature in front of them. It writhed and staggered as the flames engulfed it, a low moan escaping from its lips. The nasty smell of burning flesh wafted in the air. All three men drew their hands up to their faces, fingers covering their noses, coughs escaping their lips.

"What a stinky freak in'…." Dean muttered through his hand, flare gun hanging limply in his grasp. He attempted to draw air in through his parted lips, facial features scrunching up at the odor settled in around them.

"Jeszz, that thing reeks." Bobby offered as his head jerked up and down in a yes motion.

Tom grinned as his fingers pinched his nostrils tightly closed. His body leaned into Bobby for support as he weakly stood on his bum ankle.

Dean reloaded the flare gone swiftly. _There might be more than one of these freaky things._ He stuffed the gun back in his coat pocket, and bent slowly to pick up the flashlight from the ground. _ No need to turn it on at the moment_. A bright light from the dead Wendigo's remains gave the cave a golden hue. He cast his eyes over to the older hunters and he stepped over the smoldering Wendigo making his way further into the cave. Bobby and Tom followed behind him, staggering slowly, leaning heavily against each other for support. "Okay." Dean garbled through his hand. "There has to be a way outta here."

O

Sam wasn't sure how long they had been walking, or how Mason Sanders could find his way in the darkness. He squinted into the black night air, his hazel orbs darted from hazy tree to bush. He tugged at his coat, trying to collect some warmth back against his chilly body. _He was so cold. _ He could feel the beads of sweat rising under his long bangs as the wind blew across his forehead. The chill permeated through his damp tee shirt as it stuck to his sweaty body. _He had been gone a long time; he needed to get back to the hole, back to his brother._ Stopping for a moment, a wave of dizziness washed over him. He clutched the rope ladder closer to his chest and willed his vision to clear. He towed in a gasp of air and continued, his feet tripping on branches, rocks, and tree limbs. _Had to get to Dean, had to. _ He felt a hand fall to his elbow, attempting to steady him as he faltered. _Dean?_ He looked up through his wayward locks at the face in front of him. _ Not Dean, No, Not Dean. Mason…Mason. Remember._ "I got it…" he whispered.

"I don't think so, dude. It's okay, I can help you." Mason leaned down and grasped Sam's long arm up over his shoulder. "I think we're almost there. Didn't you say it was where the path veered to the left and under a large patch of trees?"

"I think…think…so." _Oh God, I don't remember._ A slight shudder racked Sam's frame as his world tilted sideways. Mason's steady hand tugged him up again, body resting against his own lanky frame.

"I gotcha, come on, its right up this way. I am sure of it." After about twenty feet, Mason leaned Sam down against a tree stump.

"What? Wait, we can't stop." Sam's senses suddenly came back into focus. He gazed intently up at Mason and pushed himself to stand on his wobbly legs.

"You stay here. I'm just walking right over there. I see a light across the grass." _This guy wasn't going any farther. _ Mason nodded his head at Sam.

"No, He's my brother. I'm coming." Sam forced out, hand clutching tightly at the ladder, forcing one foot in front of the other.

Mason gave Sam a wide eyed stare. _He sure missed his own brother. _He reached over and grasped Sam's elbow again. "Man, you are one hard headed…" he muttered as he blinked back his own wayward tears.

They made swift steps to the glowing area of grass dancing in the darkness. Both sets of eyes fell to the hole in front of them. Mason brought his free hand to his eyes to hid the glare rising up from the opening. He peered eagerly over the hole; he saw nothing, just dirt and smoke wafting up from darkened depth. _Holy crap, what is that god awful smell?_

"Dean? DEAN?" Sam spoke with a confused tone, fever laden eyes gazing down at the empty hole. "Where…where are they?" His anxious face darted over at Mason and back down to the hole. "I don't see…see them? Dean?" Sam's voice was rising erratically, his muddled thoughts confused in his feverish mind. _What if the Wendigo got them, got Dean? What if the Wendigo drug them off somewhere? What if they were…Oh God. What if… _

Mason drew Sam tighter as the young man began to sway on his feet, his breathe coming in little gasps. He reached over and clutched both of Sam's arms tightly, gently gliding him to sit down on the damp grass. The rope ladder sagged from Sam's fingers as he blinked slowly, a feeling of light-headedness washing over him, dragging him toward the blackness. _Dean needed him. Where was Dean? _

"Hey, hey…Sam. Listen; let me have the ladder.

_Dean? _He felt himself tilting toward the ground, the prickling of the cold grass against his cheek. He struggled against the hand that held him, pushing to right himself, but his weary limbs would not cooperate. His eyes fluttered at the bleary face in front of him, half mast lids slowly closing. "Dean?" _His voice sounded far away._

Mason leaned Sam's gangly limbs down on the grass, the glazed over eyes staring back at him gave him cause for concern. He rested his hand on Sam's cheek. _Boy, he's burning up_. He felt a slight tug at his heartstrings as the young man whispered his brother's name, and leaned into his hand, taking some comfort in his touch. He smiled slightly. _Sam had come as far as he was going._ He wrapped his fingers around the rope ladder and tugged it gently from Sam's grasp. "It's okay Sam, just rest. It's okay." _He would just go down in the hole and see what was down there, see if Sam's brother and friends were still alive. _

O

Dean wished now they had stayed where they were, at least Sam was coming back with a rope ladder. He released a heavy sigh. This continuous walking in the dark caverns of this cave were getting them nowhere, fast. _He was hoping they would find the way out, the way the Wendigo had come, but they couldn't' see in the dark._ He sighed again, lifting the flashlight to shine across the limping form of Tom and Bobby. _They both looked like crap. _

"Okay, let's go back the way we came." He said authoritatively. The light shimmed over the older hunters heads, dancing lightly against the rocks and back the direction they had come.

"What?" Bobby questioned as he looked at Dean like he had two heads.

"God Dean, you are driving us nuts. Make up your damn mind…we're going, we're coming….." Tom touted as he leaned heavily against Bobby, his broken ankle throbbing with every movement he made.

"Screw you both. We are getting out of here….NOW", Dean said harshly. "I am not walking around here in the dark anymore. Sam should be back, we can climb out the damn hole." Dean turned and shuffled back the way they came.

Bobby rubbed his hand up across his bloody face, fingers grabbing emptily for the hat he no longer wore. "Okay Dean…okay", he stammered out a weary breath.

Dean stopped, eyeing the older hunters slowly, and frowned. _I'm such an ass_. "Here, Bobby, take the light old man, I'll help Tom." _What a freaking freak show this hunt turned out to be._ He scuffled slowly, his good arm wrapped securely around Tom Baldwin, his eyes watching Bobby Singer, staggering along in front of him. _ God, please let Sam be there waiting for us._

_ Sorry for my confusion. I had issue posting, wiped out this chapter and now I am reposting it. Next Chapter is almost completed. Thanks- supernaturaldh_


	13. Chapter 13

**I'll try to Carry On**

**Chapter 13**

**By supernaturaldh**

**For My Brother**

Mason Sanders ran his hand through Sam Winchesters hair, voice whispering quietly in the young man's ear. "It's okay Sam, just rest. I'll be right back. Right back, I'm just going to go down and see if your brother is in the hole. Sam?" Mason wavered a moment, and patted the almost unconscious man on his shoulder. He slung the rope ladder down in the hole, synching the hooks securely in the dirt next to Sam. He clutched the rope and eased his boots securely on the first rung, clamoring slowly down to the bottom of the hole. The soles of his shoes thudded loudly against the rock and dirt floor as he squinted around the area, nose snarling up at the awful smell that threatened to overpower him.

"Hello? Anyone here_?" _He gazed around the area of the gaping hole. The burned remains of creature was giving off an odor that was making his eyes water, making him nauseous. He cupped his hand to his mouth and nose, hoping to hold off the stench. He darted his eyes across the remains of several bodies scattered around the small area where he stood. His gazed across the ground and then landed on the scrapes of a red flannel shirt. A large lump rose in his throat, and he felt like he was strangling. The air exited quickly from his chest. _His brother had a shirt like that one. No, no. He had it on…No, No, No…. the day he disappeared. Oh god, no, no, it can't be. _The tears filled his eyelids and he struggled to stay in control. He took a slow step and leaned down to rest his shaky hand on the shirt sleeve, tugging it up on the bone that it covered. Then he saw it. A shiny gold watch hung limply on the bone. _The watch he gave his brother for his birthday. No, no, no. _The tears hovered just beneath his eyelids. He reached down and grasped the item over the bones and held it tightly in his fingers. _God, oh god. _He wasn't sure how long he kneeled, struggling to get his breathe, to accept…reality. He tugged his shaky hand across his face, and drug in some air. _What did he expect to find, his big brother alive…after three long months of looking? He knew his brother was dead, but still… _He stood on his weak legs and swiftly stuffed the watch in his jacket, trembling fingers lingering over it momentarily, and then releasing it. He pulled in a large gulp of air. _His brother would want him to keep it together. _He reached over and wretched the rope ladder with both hands. _He wanted to make his brother's death mean something. He would not let anyone else die in these woods._ _He knew what he had to do. He had to get out of this hole, back to the top, and back to the young man that needed his help._

-o-

Mason was halfway up the swaying ladder when he heard a rustling beneath him. His eyes darted quickly down, gazing in the slowly dimming light. His head tilted to look up above at Sam, who was still lying on the damp grass at the edge of the hole. He was in no mood to tempt fate, and go back down the ladder to investigate, so he focused on an upward motion, and moved closer toward the opening. He tugged his body over the edge of the hole, and gingerly yanked the ladder up beside him. His eyes gaped down, his ears straining to hear the noises below him. His attention turned quickly when he heard a low moan that escaped from Sam's lips. He leaned down, his hand brushing his feverish brow.

"Easy. It's okay. I'm getting you out of here", he said as he reached for his backpack, and pulled out a bottle of water. "Here, let's get you a drink buddy." He gently slid his hand beneath Sam's damp hair, fingers clutching his neck and raising his head. He held the bottle to the delirious man's parched lips. Sam's eyes blinked slowly as he eagerly gulped at the cool liquid. "Easy, not to fast," Mason tugged the water away from Sam's face. Sam's confused eyes flashed as his head was lowered back to the grass. "Th…thanks D…ean."

Oooooooooo

The three hunters made a slow trek back the way they came. The reality of their situation was bearing on each of their weary minds and tired bodies. They each hoped that Sam had returned and they could get out of this damp, dark, prison they resided in.

"Almost there guys." Dean tugged Tom Baldwin closer as the older hunter gave him a drained smile. His eyes darted over to Bobby, who was following along slowly, obviously concussed and needing to rest.

As the opening came into view, Dean's body tensed. _Where was the ladder? Where was Sam? He should be back by now. _He could see something moving in the dim moonlight above the hole and he strained his eyes to look up. His heart hoping it was his brother. _Is that Sam?_ He eased Tom to the ground and quirked inquisitive eyes over at Bobby, who was also glaring up at the opening.

-o-

A sudden voice yelled up from the ground beneath them, and a face peered down the opening. "Hello?"

"Sammy? Is that you?" Dean's voice pierced up through the darkness.

"No, this is Mason Sanders. Sam's up here. We came to help you. I was just down there, where did you come from?"

"Dea?" Sam rustled next to Mason, word mumbling from his lips.

"We were trying to get out. Did Sam bring the ladder?" Dean questioned. "Where is Sam?"

"Yes. Listen you're brother is here, but he is out of it."

"What' do you mean, out of it? What's wrong with him? Dean's voice was anxious and heavy with concern. His tone raised a notch on every word.

Mason clutched the ladder, and dropped it silently back down the side of the hole.

"Heads up, the ladders coming down. Your brother is feverish, sick; you need to get up here." He said urgently.

Bobby and Tom both nodded to Dean, they knew he needed to get back to Sam and quick. Dean removed the belt that held his shoulder in place and grimaced as he tugged the rope ladder with both hands. His mouth formed a flat line, as he sucked the pain back down and ascended to the top. His eyes peered up over the dirt opening, straining to locate his brother. They fell quickly to his the still from, curled in on him on the ground. His heart clutched in his chest as Mason helped him firmly plant his feet on the grass. He could see his brother's body shuddering from here. He knelled hastily and cupped Sam's face tenderly in his fingers, his brother's chin resting in his hand. Sam's eyes fluttered at the motion and he leaned into the familiar touch. _Jeez, his brother was burning up._

"D…D...Dean?" Sammy's glassy eyes blinked slowly up at his Dean, a small smile of recognition rising in his bleary eyes.

Dean's tension eased slightly. "Shhhh…its okay Sammy." He tugged the damp bangs behind his ear and watched as Sam's eyes slid closed. "We got to get him out of here." Dean leered over at Mason, harsh tone evident. "You should have gotten him out of here already."

"Look dude, I just got back up here myself. I was down there looking for your ass. I tried to keep him from coming back, but he's hard headed as hell." Mason stammered out, eyes glaring down at Dean. "Wonder who he gets that from." He muttered. He watched as the older man removed his jacket and covered his brother with it, his anger dwindling away. _He would feel the same way if…if it was his brother…his brother. _He blinked quickly, his fingers caressing the watch in his pocket. He unconsciously cleared his throat, "Can the others get back up here?" he queried.

Dean pulled his good hand across his cropped hair, as he stood up and looked from Sam to Mason, worry lines filling up his features. "I don't think so; I need to go help them."

"No, you stay here with you're brother. Sides you're in no shape to keep going up and down that ladder with that bum arm you keep clutching to your chest."

Dean's eyebrows arched up. _This guy was very observant; he didn't even realize he was doing that._

"I'll go." Mason hurriedly stepped to the ladder and began to lower himself back down. Dean was going to argue, but Mason was right, it was better if he stayed here with Sam. _His brother needed him_.

"Bobby", Dean yelled down the hole, "Mason is coming down to help you guys out. Send Tom up first, I'll try to help him from here." _He was not sure how Tom Baldwin was getting up that ladder with a broken ankle, but he also knew he was a former marine and he had no doubt he could hold his own._

-o-

Bobby and Mason held the rope ladder taught at the bottom, as Tom Baldwin amazed them both by climbing the ladder, feet dangling below him, hand over hand. Bobby shook his head in astonishment as he watched Tom ascend the ladder. "Dean, he's coming up. Help him out."

Sam rustled restlessly on the grass, and Dean's eyes veered from the ladder and Tom Baldwin to his baby brother. He seemed to be getting fretful, and Dean was sure his fever was rising. "Sammy, it's okay. Sam…just give me minute. I got to get Tom out of this hole." Sam's head lolled over slowly toward Dean, his glassy eyes showing little recognition. "Hurry up Tom, hurry." Dean yelled, as he leaned as far down the opening as possible, fingers of his good hand getting a grip on Tom's large wrist. "I gotcha, keep coming."

The sweat beaded on Tom Baldwin's forehead as he struggled to move one hand over the other and up the rope. His broken ankle swung limply below him, occasionally banging on the dirt wall and sending a sharp pain up his leg. He huffed in a gulp of air, made his mind up to move, and continued on his path. He was glad when he felt Dean Winchesters fingers clutching against his wrist, knowing he was almost out of the damn hole he had called home for the last four days.

Dean tugged Tom's body harshly over the lip of the dirt hole, the motion causing his own body to ache. "Damn Tom, you need to push the plate back dude." Dean wheezed out between breathes as he dropped Tom down on the cold, damp grass.

"Shut up." Tom voiced, as he pulled his arm up across his forehead, and stared blankly up at the moon. "Thank god…I am out of that freaking hole". He heard the rustling next to him as Dean eased his body back up and made his way to Sam. His face grew pale when his own eyes saw the state of the youngest Winchester. He pushed himself to a setting position, eyes peering down the whole. "BOBBY, you need to get up here."

-o-

Mason Sanders looked at Bobby Singer a strange look rolling across his features.

"You okay son?" Bobby asked.

"My brother died down here." He mumbled, hands clinching and unclenching at his sides.

Bobby's eyes grew wide as he followed the gaze that Mason's face made to the red flannel shirt lying in a mass of bones on the floor. _Sweet Jesus. _"I'm sorry," he said gently, "was your brother Gerald Sanders?

"Ye…yes." The young boy said weakly, the tears once again brimming in his lids. He yanked his hand up and brushed it quickly across his face. "That's him, or rather, that's what's left of him, right there." Mason nodded slowly as his face took on a hauntingly sad expression.

Bobby eased over next to the man and gently placed his hand on his back. Mason seemed to loose all his emotions in a tidal wave of grief, as he leaned his head against Bobby's shoulder and the tears that he had been struggling so hard to control rolled over him. Surprised, Bobby's had only one thought, ease this young man's pain. He reached both of his arms up and yanked Mason Sanders tightly in a hug, as the tears rolled unhindered down his face.


	14. Chapter 14

**I'll try to Carry On**

**Chapter 14**

**By supernaturaldh**

**You Did Good**

The cool air caressed Dean's bare arms, goose bumps rising on his skin. His tee shirt was not nearly enough in this chilly air. He knew if he was this cold that Sam was freezing. He tugged his leather jacket up tighter around his shivering little brother. His eyes cast down in the opening toward the wavering movements below. _He couldn't see what they were doing, but they needed to get a move on._

"Bobby, come on, we got to get Sam out of here." Dean's anxious voice bounced around on the darkness and down into hole. The worry lines increased around his eyes as he fixed them on Tom, lying uncomfortably on the grass next to Sam. _Tom didn't look to damn good either._

Mason Sander's pulled away from Bobby's arms, giving him a slight smile, as his hand lightly patted the older man's shoulder, fingers rubbing up and down his sleeve in a nervous motion. He took a backward step, and swiftly wiped the tears away with his sleeve. He reached his hand back over to steady the rope ladder. "You go", he nodded from Bobby to the ladder.

Bobby's hand grasped the rope and he pulled his tired legs up to rest on the first rung; his concussed head aching, his body moved slowly toward the top. He was about halfway up, nearly out of the godforsaken hole, when he heard it. A slight rustle below him and to the side, not a loud noise, but something his hunter ears did not miss. He cocked his head at a slight angle, hanging one handed on the ladder. He slowly brought his finger to his mouth, a noiseless shushing rising to his lips, eyes glaring down at Mason. He could see the shadow behind the young man moving discretely in the dark. His eyes went wide as he raised his head back up toward Dean precariously perched on the edge of the hole.

"Dean," he whispered, "Flare gun."

Dean's reaction was instantaneous. He knew by the look on Bobby's face that something was amiss. He reached quickly over to Sam, retrieving his flare gun from his own coat pocket and handed it down to Bobby.

Mason Sanders was afraid. The kind of fear he knew his brother had probably felt before him. His body gave a slight shudder as his eyes darted back over his shoulder. He felt the presence in the corner, although he could not really see it. An ominous felling washed over him. Fear of the unknown. He held his breath in anticipation of what was to come next.

"Mason", Bobby's voice was barely audible to his ears. He slowly raised his head, wide eyes pleading up at the older man. He saw the slow steady movement of Bobby's fingers meeting Deans, and then the flare gun being eased down just above his grasping fingers. _He had never shot anything before, what if he missed? What if the thing killed him, just like his brother? His brother…._ Sudden anger quivered through his body, his mind focusing on one thought. _Kill it. _He hastily stood on his tip toes, clasping fingers around the trigger as he yanked the gun from Bobby's hand. He turned quickly on the balls of his feet, fingers releasing the rope ladder in a sudden motion His eyes fixed on the movement in the shadows, his breathe coming out in minuet little gasps. He gaped as the creature lunged for him. His finger pressed tightly against the trigger without a second thought. The flare gun flashed a bright illumination and then a menacing scream escaped the Wendigo's lips as it staggered and fell to the ground. He stared, unfeeling, as it was engulfed in a ball of fire. He stood stock still, silent tears forming beneath his lashes and rolling slowly down his checks. He didn't notice the ladder swaying, or the gentle hand coming to tug the flare gun from his fingers. He only noticed one thing, the bright burning light in front of his eyes, as his fingers rubbed slowly against the watch in his pocket.

It took Bobby several minutes to climb back down the ladder, the blaring stench from the burning Wendigo taking his breath away. He found Mason Sanders standing, tear stained face, staring fixated at the burning Wendigo. _He was sure the young man was not crying because he shot the damn thing. _He reached over and pryed his fingers from the flare gun. His voice a calming, gentle tone. "You did good, Mason. You did good."

---------------

The walk back to the Impala and Tom's truck was a slow one. Dean and Mason held Sam firmly between them, his head lolling around against their shoulders. The heat rising off his baby brother's body gave Dean grave concern. Sam had only mumbled deliriously since they had all climbed out of their prison down deep in the Wendigo's hiding place. _He wanted Sam safe and he wanted it NOW_. He shuffled along as fast as he could go, practically dragging his baby brother and Mason along the way. His own arm and shoulder spiked pain with every movement, but he would not stop, would not falter. He was getting his brother the help he needed. He gazed across to Bobby and Tom, who were leaning heavily on one another, as the exhausted hunters edged their way out of the woods and back to Carpenter's Creek parking lot.

---------------------

Finally, the Impala came into Dean's view beneath the low illumination of the one street light and the pale moon shining down through the darkness. He heaved a sigh of relief as he tugged his brother up tighter against him.

"Look here Sammy, we made it back." His voice whispered in his brother's ear; hot breathe blowing the hair around his face. Sam made no move at recognition, head still hot with fever, eyes gazing blearily at nothing.

Mason Sanders gave a small smile toward Dean, as he also tugged the younger Winchester up higher against his own body. _He was glad someone's brother was getting out of here._

As much as Dean did not like it, and he did not like it at all; Bobby and Tom made him relinquish his car keys over to Mason for the drive to the hospital. He was tired and his bum shoulder ached. As much as he wanted to drive, he knew his little brother was confused, delirious, and needed his comforting embrace. _Oh man, what a chick flick moment this could be. _He shrugged as Sam was propped up in the middle of the back seat, body languishing heavily against his, head curled against his shoulder.

"…ean?..." Sam mumbled as he clung to his older brother like a lifeline.

"I gotcha Sammy," he whispered, pulling Sam as close to him as possible. He cringed at the heat that was rolling of his brother. _ I will be so glad when we get him to the hospital. _

Tom Baldwin's broken ankle was numb as he leaned against the bench seat. He slowly rolled his neck so he was looking at Sam. _He looks totally out of it._ He didn't even realize he was unconsciously clutching the younger mans' hand in his own until he looked down. He gazed up at Dean, who only gave him a soft smile, no funny words coming to his lips. _Dean must be really worried. What, no joke about me holding Sammy's hand? _

Bobby sat up front, body tilted toward Sam, eyes gazing intently at the younger man. _God, we are all a sight_. He shrugged and brought his hand up to rub down the large gash of dried blood on his cheek. _Guess he would have a scar from this one. _He snickered to himself. _ What is it Dean says, 'Girls dig scars.' _ He looked over to Mason and silently thanked him. _You got us all out of that hole. Thank god you came along. _

Mason Sander's eyes gazed out over the windshield, to the road in front of him. _His brother would be proud of him for helping these men out, for getting these men out. He couldn't save his brother, but he could save them. _He smiled slightly as his foot pressed harder on the gas pedal and his eyes fell to the dash mirror.

Dean's stark blue eyes darted up to the mirror. "Watch it there buddy, don't hurt my car." He mouthed from the back seat, eyes squinting at the driver. Mason nodded his head slowly at Dean, a grin sitting on his lips. The car continued humming with vigor, as it rolled silently down the highway, toward the hospital, and help for its weary passengers.


	15. Chapter 15

**I'll try to Carry On**

**Chapter 15**

**By supernaturaldh**

**Demons, Deals, and …**

Doctor Debbie Signal glanced up from her paperwork as the automatic doors to the emergency room slammed against the walls, what met her eyes caused her mouth to suddenly gape open as anxiety pierced through her chest. _Holy crap. _ She dropped her ink pen to the clipboard and lunged toward the doorway. 

"We need help in reception, NOW!" she yelled as she hastily made her way through the doors to the four men struggling to get into the lobby. _What the hell?_

One slightly balding, older man, face mass of blood and puffiness, leaning into another huge guy that was visibly limping, his left ankle bathed in a bloody bandage and makeshift splint. Both were covered in dirt, and looked about ready to pass out. Behind them, three younger man, one being physical held up by the other two, body completely limp, eyes closed, head lolling up and down with every jostling movement. She could tell with her brief passing gaze that this kid was totally out of it. The one to the right of him did not look too good; face dirty, clothes filthy, pain lines taunt on his features. He held one arm snugly against his side, the other curled tightly around the boy in the middle. _He looks like he fell down a dirt filled hole? _She gazed intently at the young man on the left. _He seemed to be holding them all three up. _He looked exhausted, noticeably shaken, but she did not see any visible injuries as her eyes darted from him back to the others. She felt her feet thudding against the linoleum as she hurried toward them; the sound of additional medical personnel behind her. 

The young man with the injured arm whispered in a low breath, "Help my brother first." The rough looking group all nodded their heads in agreement. The older men gazed at the one who spoke, and then eased unsteadily to the side allowing her to reach the unconscious one. She moved her fingers up and cupped his chin, gazing at his pale features, feeling for a pulse, she noticed the heat coming off of him in waves. 

"GURNEY, we need a gurney over here STAT." Her voice was firm and sure. 

The next few moments were a blur of arms, legs, wheelchairs, and gurneys as the five injured men were guided back through the swinging doors to the emergency area. The sandy haired man kept fighting verbally with her, advising her to do something for his brother. She noticed his fingers clinging tightly to the hand of the unconscious one. She promised him he could stay with his brother, but, he needed to calm down, let them look at them both. He smiled slightly at her and allowed her to nudge him down into the wheelchair, physically pushing him back to triage herself. 

oooooooooooooooooo

Dean Winchester sat in the wheelchair, pushed slightly away from Sam's position on the gurney. He watched as doctors and nurses circled around his kid brother, barking orders, drawing blood, poking and prodding him. It worried him that Sam never flinched, moved or made a noise. He sighed and tugged his arm up closer to his chest; the fall down the hole was now causing his body to ache from head to toe. Suddenly, someone was in his face, eyes glaring intently into his own. 

"Sir, where are you hurt?" A cold stethoscope pressed into the collar of his chest against his breastbone. 

"Hey…hey…I'm fine." He blinked up at the young doctor, remembering her from earlier as he pulled himself away from the offending object. 

"Okay, here's the deal. You either let me help you here or I send you over to your own room. Got it?" She was stern, face never wavering as she stared at him. 

A slight grin curled up on his lips. _She was tough; he liked that in a woman._ "Okay…okay. I pulled my shoulder out when I fell in the hole."

"You fell in a hole?" she queried as she reached down to pull his curled up arm away from his chest, slowly.

"We all did." He snickered, and then let a little gasp escape from his lips at her movements. 

"Well, we need to get your shoulder x-rayed. Anything else hurt?" Her fingers continued to prod and poke. 

"Besides being tired, hungry, and feeling like a fell down a hole? He gave her a flash of smile, then concerned etched back on his face. "How's my brother?" 

"He's still unconscious. He is going to be admitted. You though, I think, if you will let me take care of you, we can have you back with him in about 30 minutes. Deal?" She gave him a quick nod of her head, and he reluctantly agreed. He squeezed his brother's hand tightly and she heard him whisper, "I'll be back, Sammy", as she steered the wheelchair out of the room. 

ooooooooooooooo

Tom Baldwin laughed lightly to himself as he watched the nurse scramble around trying to find crutches to fit his 6'5", 235 lb. stature. _He was a big guy. _ Every few minutes she would appear, and then leave again, mumbling something about how they didn't make crutches for the jolly green giant. He had been pumped full of pain meds, ankle placed in a cast, and now they were releasing him, if they could find crutches his size. His mind speculated to the others, wondering if they were all okay. _How was Sam_? 

Finally, the nurse appeared with a large set of crutches, eyes bright like she had won the lottery. "Look here what I found." She grinned widely.

"Thank you so much." Tom sat up on the wobbly gurney and grabbed the crutches from her hands, placing his heavy upper body mass against the padded medal rungs beneath his arms. 

The nurse's hands faced him, waving around. _She acted like she could catch him if he were to fall. _ Her motions made him smile_. He towered over her, and doubted she could even break his fall, let alone catch him._ He moved forward slowly, thanking her as he went. 

oooooooooooooo

Bobby Singer eased himself slowly down in the waiting room chair, aching head coming to rest on his hand, leaning firmly against the leather seat. He smiled at Mason Sanders, who was dozing in the chair next to him. _He wouldn't wake the kid; it had been a long night. _ He had been poked, prodded, stuck, and x-rayed, all within the last hour, and he only wished he could sleep like Mason was in this uncomfortable chair. The doctor had released him because he had insisted he had been the lucky recipient of a concussion before. _He laughed to himself, he seemed more knowledgeable then the young doctor who stitched him up. He knew what needed to be done, and he had friends who would make sure it was. _ So now, he sat, waiting for word on the others. 

His head rose, the thudding of metal on the floor catching his attention. His eyes fell to the face of Tom Baldwin, scrunched up in severe concentration, as he seemed to be having difficulties keeping his body moving forward on the crutches with his now caste ankle. He grinned widely, as he watched. _ Tom was not coordinated when he didn't have a bum leg, he dare not think about him on crutches for six weeks. _

Tom leered at Bobby as he eased on the coach next to him in the waiting room. 

"Shut up. Don't you even think about saying it?" Tom snarled. 

"Hey, I wasn't going to say anything." Bobby snickered as he gazed at Tom easing his broken leg out in front of him. 

"Have we heard about our boys?" Tom queried. 

Bobby gave his head a light shake as he slouched further down in the chair, gazing at the doorway Tom had just come from, wishing for word on about the Winchester brothers. 

ooooooooooooooo

Dean was wheeled quietly back into Sam's room, his brother now wearing a hospital gown that matched his pale complexion. All signs of the evening events erased from his features. He noticed the I.V. attached to his brothers arm, and wondered what they were giving him. _He had only been gone 45 minutes, but obviously a lot had happened in that time._ He smiled briefly at the young orderly who had pushed him back here, after his shoulder had been x-rayed, and placed in a cloth sling to hold it steady. He had been surprised when the doctor said his head needed 6 stitches behind his right ear. _He hadn't even noticed he had cut it in the fall._He eased himself out of the wheelchair, nodding at the orderly as he sat down in the hard plastic chair beside Sam's bed. 

"The doctor will be in to talk to you about Sam." He said as he rolled the wheelchair out the door. 

"Thanks." Dean whispered as he reached his hand over to tug Sam's too long bangs from his eyes, fingers resting lightly on his brother's feverish forehead. He quickly yanked his fingers away, when he heard light footfalls coming through the doorway and toward them. 

"Well, hello again." Dr. Signal leaned down and adjusted Sam's IV, peering intently at his face, then pulled another chair up next to sit next to Dean. "

"How's my brother? When will he wake up?" Dean peered at her, as he tugged at the uncomfortable arm brace he was wearing. 

"Your brother is sleeping. He is extremely run down, dehydrated, and he came back positive for infectious mononucleosis."

"The kissing disease?" Dean's face was a strange combination of concern and confusion. _How could that be? Sam never kisses anyone. He barely even talked to the opposite sex. _

Dr. Signal smiled. _ This was the same response she always got when she told someone they had mono. _ She leaned toward Dean, eyes gazing directly into his. "Mono" or "the kissing disease," is also called Pfeiffer's disease. It is an infection usually caused by the Epstein-Barr virus. People often kid around about mono, but, unfortunately, it's no joke. A case of mono can keep you out of commission for weeks. And in Sam's case, his white count was around 20,000. Normal white counts are around 8000."

Dean eyebrows arched up, concern washing over him like a wave. 

Dr. Signal continued. "So he is really sick. His case was not caught in the early stages; it is the worst I have ever seen". 

Dean shifted uncomfortably at her words. _So his little brother had been sick for awhile and he hadn't picked up on it. Some big brother he was. _ His unconsciously moved his hand up to pat Sam's arm as it rested on the stark white sheets. "So, what happens now?"

"There is no cure for mononucleosis. The illness will go away by itself, usually in 3 to 4 weeks. Because mono is caused by a virus, it has to run it's course. Sam tested positive for strep throat along with the virus, so we have started him on a strong round of IV antibiotics, to fight the infection. He will need complete rest, no stress." She noticed her patient's brother seemed to cringe at the mention of stress. She continued, "No stress, if he wants to get better. He pushed himself too hard, that's probably why he got sick to start with." 

_How many times have I told him…? _Dean's eyes were bright as he understood the doctor's words, his teeth tugging lightly against his bottom lip. 

"I plan on keeping him over night; we will see how he is tomorrow before I decide he can be released, and when." She nodded lightly and stood, ""Your friends are all in the waiting room; no one else was admitted." She smiled brightly, turned, and headed toward the doorway. 

He vaguely heard her high heals clicking on the linoleum as she left the room, his mind absorbing what he was just told. He raked his free hand through his cropped hair, a small sigh coming from lips. _Holy Crap… Demons, Deals, and Mono? How was he ever going to get Sammy to take it easy? _


	16. Chapter 16

I'll Try to Carry On

**I'll try to Carry On**

**Chapter 16**

**By supernaturaldh**

**I Owe You**

There was a vague golden hue against his eyelids, inching its way between his lashes. If he scrunched his eyes tighter it went away, and that was fine with him. An antiseptic smell assaulted his senses and his muddled mind wondered where it was coming from? He heard muffled voices, murmuring in the silence. "Dean, he's waking up." Light footfalls echoed around him, but he couldn't tell if they were coming or going. His mind was floating in that comfortable, warm place, just between waking and sleeping. He felt detached from reality, no worries, and he liked that just fine.

A warm hand touched his cheek, a familiar voice whispered in his ear, "Sammy? Come one kiddo, you been asleep all day. Open your eyes."

He could feel cool fingers brushing the hair from his warm face, a comforting motion from his childhood, and he leaned into it. He tried to focus his muddled thoughts, to figure out where he was. His body ached, a nagging headache settled just behind his eyes. He struggled with his heavy lids tugging them open to mere slits; a blurry face was gazing down at him. "De...n?" _Was that him? His voice sounded dry, foreign to his own ears. _ _His throat felt scratchy and sore_. He felt something placed against his parched lips, and his head seemed to be floating off the pillow. Dean's familiar voice whispering in his ear, "Drink, Sammy."

The cool liquid felt good flowing across his tongue and down his aching throat. _ It hurt to swallow? _ His head was laid slowly back against the softness, and he let his weary lids fall shut. _He'd been asleep for two days? Why was he so tired?_

"Hey Sammy, it's time to wake up." His older brother's voice slowly made its way through his murky mind. He blinked several times attempting to remove the fog that seemed to have settled around him. Gradually, a face came into focus and his brothers piercing blue eyes gazed at him. Dean's voice his anchor, dragging him back to waking world.

"It's okay Sammy, you're in the hospital. It's okay, I'm right here." He felt strong fingers curling around his hand, and he latched tightly on to them. His unclear eyes glanced around the room. He could indistinctly see Tom and Bobby, hovering at the foot of the bed with a kid he remembered from somewhere. _What was his name again?_

"Hey, Sammy." Bobby whispered, "So glad you decided to join us."

"You got that right." Tom grinned widely as Mason Sanders stepped up next to him and looked intently at Sam.

"Man, I'm glad you're okay." Mason whispered as he rocked on the balls of his feet, a faint smile curling on his lips. His arms crossed tightly across his chest as he sighed. _At least I saved somebody's brother. _

Sam gave them all a soft smile, one that barely eased across his lips. He tugged his heavy head over to the side, gazing blearily at his brother's concerned face.

"Hey kiddo. I was beginning to think you were sleeping beauty, and I was gonna have to kiss your ass to wake you up." Dean's head cocked to the side, a wide smirk rising on his lips. "I thought I'd get Mason here to do it." Dean nudged Mason with his elbow giving him a cocky grin.

Sam wanted to say something, utter an arrogant comeback, but he just didn't have the energy. _His brother was such a smart ass. _

Dean's concern peaked again as he gazed steadily at Sam's tired face. The joke he made was totally forgotten as he eased up against the bed next to Sam. _If Sam did not have a comeback, then he felt pretty lousy._ He reached down and tugged the blankets up tighter around Sam, giving them a light pat. "You just rest, okay." He said sternly as he nodded his head at his kid brother.

"…K…" Sam's eyes drifted shut again. His breathe evening out as drowsiness overtook him. He heard Tom's voice in the distance. "He's gonna be okay, Dean. He's gonna be fine."

Mason Sander's shrugged his shoulders, and gazed at the three men in front of him. All eyes were watching the sleeping Winchester. _ He wished someone cared about him like that. He missed his brother so much, he ached. _"Well, I uh hum…. I…I guess I'm getting out of here, now that I know Sam's okay." He stuttered, fingers digging into his blue jean pockets. "Glad…glad I could help you guys out."

Dean's eyes darted from Sam over to Mason, picking up on the young man's overwhelming emotions. _ Jesus, this guy was just a kid, a kid who had lost his brother, his only family. _ He stood and made hasty steps toward Mason, hand extended out to him in gratitude. "Thank you, thank you for finding my brother, and taking care of him for me." The kid just blinked wide eyed at him as Dean shook his hand like there was no tomorrow.

The next thing Dean knew, he had reached out to Mason, arms unconsciously tugging the gangly youth to his chest. He felt a momentarily push away, only making Dean's grasp tighter. "I owe you everything, you saved my brother." _Screw the chick flick rule, this guy saved my brother._

Mason relaxed and his own arms towed tightly at Dean. He shuddered lightly as he blinked back the tears that rose to his eyes. _He missed his brother_. He reluctantly pulled away from Dean's grasp, fingers quickly wiping at his eyes. "You're welcome", he whispered. He slowly walked toward the doorway, eyes downcast as he made his way out of the room. Bobby glared at Tom, Tom gazed at Dean, and Dean looked back to Bobby. All three thinking the same thing, a smile rose to their lips.

Suddenly, Tom eased in front of Mason, blocking his path from the room. "You know, Mason, we might need a place to recover when Sam gets out of here. You got any ideas about that? Anyplace we could get a good deal on a room?" He looked intently at the kid in front of him, questioning eyes piercing at him. They all watched as Mason seemed to light up, watched as his face seemed to comprehend the notion.

"I…I got a whole house, no one there but me. You guys are welcome to hole up there for awhile. I won't charge ya a thing." He grinned widely.

"Great Mason that would be just great." Bobby offered as his hand tugged his ball cap down on his stitched up face.

"Okay, you guys got my number. I'll just go home and straighten up a bit." Mason smiled excitedly.

"Well you just do that, you know we don't stay at just any old joint." Tom stepped up and patted the kid on the back in a reassuring gesture.

"Nope." Bobby grinned, as he nudged past Dean to ease up next to Mason.

Dean smirked. He watched as Mason walked toward the doorway, flanked on either side by Tom and Bobby. He stepped hastily back to Sam's bed, eyes gazing over his sleeping brother, fingers tugging one more time at the blankets. He blinked back the moisture that was building in his eyelids and sat wearily down in the plastic chair. A slight shudder rose from his frame, and he rubbed his eyes with his fingers. He sighed lightly and eased his head down to rest on his palm. _His own heart ached, because he knew, in less than one year, this would be Sammy.. _


	17. Chapter 17

I'll Try to Carry On

**I'll try to Carry On**

**Chapter 17**

**By supernatural**

**No Sam?**

Sam's eyelids opened slowly; he blinked, attempting to clear his foggy vision. The hospital room was dimly lit, the sun barely peaking up over the horizon. He could just make out the outline of his older brother hunkered down in the plastic chair, sleeping. Dean's head propped up uncomfortably on his hand, drool rolling down his chin to puddle in his palm. _He wished he had his cell phone, definitely a Kodak moment here. _He let a slight giggle escape from his lips. _The idea of a drooling Dean was just too funny. _ He watched, fixated on his brother's face when blue eyes popped open, concern evident in the wide orbs gazing back at him.

"Sammy?" Dean swiftly dropped his hands, glancing at the slobber there; he hastily reached to his face finding the dampness on his chin. He flushed lightly, and wiped his shirtsleeve against his jaw; finally he tugged his palms down and rubbed them quickly against his tattered blue jeans. He stood and gazed intently at Sam, and then a slight curl began forming on his lips. He grinned widely as the sound of giggling permeated his ears. _What a wonderful sound, Sammy giggling. _

"Well, laugh it up kiddo. So glad you find me funny? "Dean's eyes rolled and his brows shot up in a fake exasperation, causing Sam to laugh harder. Dean smiled brightly. "You feel better, huh?"

"Yeah", Sam whispered, as he pushed somewhat up on the mattress, attempting to tug his weak body up higher on his unsteady arms.

Dean noticed his brother's feeble motions, and gently grabbed his upper arms, assisting him to move up on the bed, fluffing up his pillow. "Watch it, you still got an I.V." he whispered.

"I'm fine, Dean. How long I been here? Why am I here?" Sam looked innocently up at Dean, long bangs falling across his forehead, large eyes looking like the seven year old Dean remembered from their youth.

Dean grinned and tucked the blankets around his brother, "Two days, little brother. You have been here two days. You woke up several times, but, you were out of it most of the time. You had a high fever. Doc says you have mononucleosis."

Sam's face gave Dean a strange look; uncertainty evident on his features. "Isn't that from kissing a girl?"

Dean chuckled and patted down the blanket across Sam's stomach. "No bro, it's from a virus. You can get it from running yourself down. Don't know anyone that would do that though, do you?" Dean grinned and sat back down in the chair next to Sam's bed, eyes glaring keenly at his brother.

Sam flinched at the remark, suddenly finding the blanket underneath his fingers so fascinating that he could not meet his brother's eyes. He shrugged his shoulders, and nervously fumbled with the cover.

"Yeah, I thought so." Dean smirked as he eased further down in the chair, eyes taking in his pale little brother. "When you get out of here, back on your feet, we are so talking about this."

"Whatever", Sam whispered, never looking back at his older brother. Thoughts of a conversation with Dean about demons, deals, and death caused a little shiver to run up his spine, and he closed his weary eyes, letting the tug of sleep once again pull him under.

Sam looked out the windshield of the Impala as the car came to a halt. He glanced over at Dean and back to the unkempt house. "Someone lives here?"

"Yes Sam, Mason Sanders lives here. See Bobby and Tom's cars parked back up there, in the trees." Dean nodded his head toward the thicket next to the side of the house, finger pointing toward the cars hidden in the brush.

Sam squinted, "Oh." He could barely make out his friends cars among the excessive undergrowth around the house. He reached down to grasp the passenger door handle, only to be met with Dean's hand pushing him gently back into the bench seat.

"Stay. Wait for me to come around. Don't want you doing a face plant in the mud." The driver's door lunged open, Dean's boots squishing in the muddy ground, obviously to sound of Sam's protests.

"De…e...a…n, I'm fine." Sam insisted as he again grabbed for the door handle and pushed his tall frame to a standing position. His hand grappled quickly with the door edge as his vision wavered momentarily in front of him. He felt a strong hand grasp his elbow, and another wrap securely around his back as he blinked back the fuzziness from his vision.

"I told you…you are so freaking hard headed. Act just like Dad." Dean hissed as he gripped tightly to Sam to keep him from the forward tumble to the weeds.

Loud footfalls scurried on the wooden front porch as Tom, Bobby, and Mason all made their way out the door to great the newest arrivals. Bobby frowned at the swaying youngest Winchester and the elders vice grip around his brother.

"Mason, go help him get his brother in here before he face plants in the mud." Bobby nudged Mason on the back with his elbow. Tom shook his own head in agreement.

Dean grinned widely at Bobby's comment. _Did he just say the same thing I did_? He heard Sam make a loud snorting noise. _Guess he heard that… _ He chuckled to himself as he guided his lanky brother forward slowly toward the front steps, smile curling up on his lips.

Mason scurried off the front porch and quickly stepped to Sam's other side, reaching for, and griping his other arm.

Sam heaved in a loud breath of air and then decided he would just give in; accept the help that was being offered. _Cause he really wanted to lie down now. _ So he clutched tightly at both men's arms as they held him, leading him steady and securely up the steps, across the porch, and to the comfy couch in the front room. He felt his shoes being removed, and a blanket towed across his torso, as once again he dozed off to sleep.

Sam was tired of sleeping, resting, sleeping, sitting, sleeping, eating, sleeping, nothing. It had been three days since he got out of the hospital and he was definitely tired of being tired. He had stuff he needed to do, research he needed to get on. He wanted to do something, anything, to escape from this routine. _How could anyone sleep this damn much?_ _Whatever the doctor was giving him, steroids, antibiotics, and pain medicine was making him sleep all the damn time. _Dean, well he was just relentless, he seemed to have a stop watch, and just when Sam was getting lucid, here came Dean, pushing pills and water bottles in hand, nudging them down his throat. He shuffled on the uncomfortable couch, and gazed longingly out the window. _If he just had his laptop, he could research on Dean's deal, get back to work. But he had no laptop; Dean had thrown it out the window. _He sighed, frustration now brimming in his veins. _ He really needed to be working on Dean's deal. He had to get him out of it. _

The house was quiet, Tom, Bobby and Mason making a grocery run, Dean off somewhere taking a nap. _Wonder where the library is? _Sam pushed up off the lumpy cushions and planted his feet on the floor. He wavered slightly, but was happy he had no blurry vision, and could stand without anyone running to his rescue. He walked slowly to the room he was sharing with his brother; finding Dean sleeping, sprawled out on a twin bed. He reached down, grabbed his shoes and jacket from the floor and eased backwards out of the room. He slid on his sneakers, leaving them untied, and shimmed into his jacket. From the hallway, he let his eyes dart around to stare at his sleeping brother, he sighed. _Seven months left, have to get Dean out of this deal._ His eyes filled with tears and he brushed his limp hand across his face, frowning, he made his way silently out the front door.

Dean Winchester woke to the sound of Tom and Bobby arguing in the kitchen about what to fix for dinner. He rolled to his back, stared at the ceiling, listening to his friends. He laughed silently to himself when Mason finally spoke up.

"I'll fix dinner if you two will shut the hell up." Mason's tone one of amusement.

"Hey that works for me." Bobby offered with a laugh.

"Well then, you better get on it," Tom affirmed as he walked down the hall, eyes darting in the room at Dean now sitting up sluggishly on the bed. The sounds of crunching plastic bags, slamming kitchen cabinets, and pots and pans being moved around wafted down the hallway to their ears.

"That worked out just as I planned." Tom winked at Dean. "I so did not want to fix dinner."

"Get out of the damn kitchen, Bobby. You are in my way." Mason's voice echoed from the kitchen.

"Gees… excuse me Betty Crocker." Bobby stumbled from the kitchen, large grin planted on his face. "Boy, Tom that worked out just like you said. Kid is so gullible." He nodded from the hallway into the bedroom at Tom and Dean.

Dean shook his head at the two older hunters. _These two were something else. Wonder how many times they had played him and Sam just like this. _He glanced down at his watch_. Time to give Sammy his medications. _ He pushed past Tom and Bobby, eyes locating the pill bottles in the bathroom and running a cup of water.

"Hey Sam, it's time for your medication." He yelled as he walked from the bathroom toward the living room, the older hunters eyeing him as he went by.

"Dean, Sam's not in there; we thought he was in here with you."

Dean stopped in his tracks; spinning on his heels he faced Tom and Bobby. "Do you see him in here with me? I know he's skinny, but you can't miss his tall ass."

"Well, he's not in the living room." Tom offered.

"Not in the kitchen either, only Mason in there." Bobby spoke up.

Dean's eyes grew wide and he stumbled into the living room, hand dropping the pills and the water glass to the end table. He darted down the hall to the other bedroom. _No Sammy?_

"Sam?" _Oh god, what if he passed out somewhere. Where is he? _"Find him." He glared at Tom and Bobby and all three split up quickly, eyes looking around in the house for Sam.

"I really think we would see him Dean, he's not here." Bobby reached his hand up to grasp Dean's shoulder.

"Well, where the hell is he." Dean's face drained of all color, a mask of concern and fear.

"Maybe out back, maybe he got bored in the house." Tom limped to the back door, past Mason, who stopped what he was doing, looking attentively at the three men.

"What's going on?" Mason asked.

Tom's eyes gazed out the backdoor as he swung it open. Squinting and darting his face around in the dim evening air, just trees, shrubs, tall grass, and weeds. _ No Sam? Okay this was getting serious, where the hell was he?_

_Oh, I am so mean. I just can't stop with the limp Sam. Someone help me!! Reviesw are always welcome. They keep me going. –supernaturaldh-_


	18. Chapter 18

I'll Try to Carry On

**I'll try to Carry On**

**Chapter 18**

**He Had to Go**

**By supernatural**

Sam eased the front door closed silently on its hinges, fingers hanging onto it tightly as he struggled to keep his balance. The early evening air assaulted his senses and made him lightheaded. He blinked gradually and debated for a moment if trying to find the library was a good idea or not. He took a wobbly step forward, reaching for the porch rail. _Yes, he needed to help Dean_.

He was sick of sleeping, sitting, and doing nothing when he should be researching, attempting to get his older brother out of the deal with the demon; the deal that would take his brother from him in less than seven months. _Take back control of this situation, figure it out._ He no longer had his computer, his brother having angrily thrown it out the window last week. So now, all he could do was find the library. _What town were they in again? _

He tugged his fingers around his jacket, zipped it up, and turned the collar up around his cheeks. _It was cold out here. _He stuffed his chilly hands in his empty pockets and slowly made his way across the weedy lawn. _He didn't realize how far the mailbox was from the front porch, but it seemed like it was taking a long time to get there. _ He pushed harder; taking all his energy just to put one foot in front of the other, sweat beading against his forehead. Finally, his fingers gripped the rickety mailbox and he leaned into it firmly, attempting to steady his body's forward motion. _Maybe this wasn't such a good idea? _

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Myrtle O'Connell, and her husband Frank, made the trip to the town of Carpenter's Creek every week, just like clockwork, just like they had for the last 20 years of their life. It gave them something to do, somewhere to go. The car barely made it past 25 mph mark as it eased down the old country road, past the same houses, fields and trees that they had known their entire life. Since they retired, and their kids and grandkids had all moved away, they had no one but each other, and that was fine with them. They made their usual stops at the post office, drug store, and grocery. Sometimes Myrtle would ask Frank to stop at the library, just to pick up some books, to help fill in some time. Myrtle smiled across the seat at her husband of 57 years and gazed happily out the window. She eyed the usual surroundings, the places they passed all the time. Something caught her eye as the car rolled down the highway and Myrtle leaned forward in the seat, one hand rolling down the window, the other swatting at her elderly husband.

"Isn't that Mason Sanders at his mailbox? Oh, that poor boy. Slow down honey, I want to speak to him. Make sure he's okay, you know, since Gerard isn't there to watch out for him."

The car eased from a slow crawl to a stop, as 79 year old Frank O'Connell had never denied Mrytle anything in 57 years, he was not about to start today. He rolled his eyes at his wife as he put the car into park and gazed across at the young man leaning on the mailbox. _That didn't look like Mason Sanders to him? Mryties eyes ain't what they used to be._

"Mason….Mason, how are you doing sweetie?" Myrtle's voice rang out loudly through the open passenger window and into the chilly air. The young man standing by the mailbox head slowly pulled up and piercing hazel eyes looked curiously at her.

"I'm not…not Mason." The young man whispered his body swaying slightly, his fingers white knuckling the mailbox next to him.

"He don't look to good Mryt." Frank mumbled. He watched as the youngster pushed himself away from the mail box, looking a little pale and out of it for his liking.

"Where you going there Mason?" Myrtle asked, concern ebbing in her tone, silvery head still poking out the window.

"Library." The young man mumbled as he trudged forward, away from the car.

"Mryt, that AIN'T MASON." Frank yelled loudly in the front seat at his wife. Cringing slightly as she whipped her head around to stare at her elderly husband.

"Well, WHO IS IT THEN? Looks like Mason to me; tall lanky body, shaggy brown hair? This is his driveway you know, Frank." Myrtles expression was exasperated as she glared at her husband.

"Well, I don't give a rat's ass whose driveway it is, that ain't Mason." Frank pointed his finger out the front window at the young man now walking slowly down the side of the road, body weaving slightly back and forth. "And he doesn't look like he's going too damn far."

Frank O'Connell pushed open the driver's door and walked swiftly up behind the young man, fingers grabbing him by the elbow. "Hey, kiddo, you okay? Where you headed?" He steadied him firmly as the young man leaned into him, his head turning to gaze over at the older man.

_His Dad called him kiddo? _ For a moment confusion etched across the young man's face, and Frank looked at him with concern. "Library." He whispered again, hand tugging his wrist away from Frank, continuing on his unsteady walk forward. "I'm fine."

_This boy doesn't look in any shape to be going to the damn library._ Frank stood, eyes watching as the youngster moved away. "Hey," Frank made steady steps to the boy's side again. "Mryt and I can drop you at the library; we are heading right past it." He smiled at the young man who stopped, and eyeballed them both with wide eyes.

_They look normal, and it was just a ride up the road, to the library. That's where he needed to be. Doing research. He s_miled weakly. _ He was pretty damn tired right now. _ "Okay. You two don't look like serial killers to me." A light grin curled up on his pale face.

"Good, good", Frank offered as he led the youth back to the car and eased him inside. Frank nodded at him as he shut the door and climbed back behind the wheel.

Myrtle turned around in the seat to stare at the man behind them. "So, what's your name honey?" Myrtle watched the young man slumping down in the back seat.

"Sam, my names Sam." He whispered as he lulled toward the passenger window, leaning his head against the cool glass.

Myrtle and Frank eyed each other across the car, worry carved in their faces. Frank nodded at his wife, reached his hand down, and started up the old Buick.

"Well, Samuel, it is nice to meet you." Myrtle smiled warmly. "Nice indeedy."

Sam smiled to himself as he dozed slightly against the glass window, eyes falling slowly shut. _Dean would like her, she said yes indeedy._

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Okay, lets all look outside". Dean yanked up his jacket as the others all followed him out the backdoor. "He couldn't have gotten far."

"Who we looking for?" Mason looked curiously at Tom.

"Sam, Mason… Sam. We are looking for Sam." Tom shook his head and gave the boy a nudge on the back of his head, pushing him awkwardly out the door.

"Where'd he go?" Mason looked back over his shoulder at Tom and Bobby.

"We don't know Mason; he must have gone outside somewhere." Bobby said harshly. _This kid was wearing on his nerves, he was gonna have to teach this kid a thing or two. _

"Well, don't get your boxers in a twist." Mason huffed, rolling his eyes at Bobby, he shimmed quickly down the back steps, shoes thudding on the muddy ground.

"Shut the hell up, all of you." Dean's eyes were angry, eyebrows raised to his hairline, breath coming out in little gasps. "I mean it, freaking help me find Sammy or get the hell out of my way." A nervous twitch rose to his right eyebrow, concern for his kid brother manifesting into anger and anxiety.

"Whoa, whoa there Dean, calm down," Bobby clutched Dean's arm and gave him a slight shake. "We'll find him."

"There's so much brush, trees, and weeds around this house, he may be out of eyeshot. Everyone fan out." Tom's tone authoritative as the marine in him came out full force. "SAM." He yelled.

Bobby and Tom scoured the backyard, the tree line, and the cars behind the house. Dean followed Mason out front, down the long driveway, eyes darting from each tree, each bush, weed, and slope. Dean's heart thudded loudly in his ears as he searched for Sam. _ What if he was out here somewhere, alone, unconscious, I am so kicking his ass when I find him? _

Right in the middle of their frantic search for Sam an old Buick pulled up in the end of Mason's driveway, and Myrtle O'Connell bound out of the car. "Mason, Mason Sanders. Yoo Hoo." Myrtle's hand waved loosely in the air as she made her way across the yard to where Dean and Mason stood.

Dean watched as Mason cringed slightly, eyes falling to the elderly woman. "Hey Mrs. Myrtle." He smiled hesitantly at her.

Dean rolled his eyes. _We don't have time for this. _He turned away from Myrtle and continued darting his eyes around looking for his brother.

Frank O'Connell walked slowly behind Myrtle toward Mason, grin plastered across his face. _Mrytie meant well_. "Hey Mason, how you doing kid?"

"I'm fine, just looking for my friend." He nodded.

"I thought I saw you earlier today." Myrtle went on, totally oblivious to Mason's statement; she continued to yammer on about driving into town for their usual trek to the grocery store.

"Looking for your friend?" Frank leaned in closer to Mason, "You mean a young guy, looks kind of of like you?"

Dean turned quickly on the balls of his feet, eyebrows squinting at the old man. "Have you seen my brother?"

"Myrtle, be quiet. Can't you see I'm having a conversation here?" Frank's hand fell to his wife's, as he clasped his fingers tightly around hers.

Myrtle immediately stopped talking and gazed intently at Dean. "Well, if you're brother is Sam, then yes we have."

Dean shuffled quickly toward the matronly woman. _Thank god._ "Where is he?"

"Mason, you really should take better care of yourself and your friends." Myrtle scowled, her finger waggling in Dean and Mason's faces.

Mason scuffed his foot like a small child and gazed at the ground.

_Who the hell did this lady think she was?_ Dean's anger bubbled over and he flinched slightly as he glared at her. _This lady needed to shut the hell up. _"Where is my brother?" Dean's voice quivered as he stared from Myrtle to Frank.

"Calm down, son." Frank stepped forward slightly, looking Dean squarely in the eye. "We gave him a ride. I tried to talk him out of it. So did Mryt here, but, he said, he had to go? " Frank crossed his arms as he gazed firmly at Dean.

Myrtle gave out an exasperated sigh, "He said he was fine, I can tell you right now, he was far from fine."

Bobby and Tom eased around the side of the house, eyes darting up to see what all the commotion was; they both looked at the older couple, Dean and Mason.

"Where was he going?" Concern rose in Dean's tone and his voice raised a couple of octaves as he leaned in toward Frank. Bobby and Tom hastily stepped up next to him.

"They saw Sammy?" Bobby's curious eyes went from Dean's glare at the older couple.

Tom saw the anxiety in Mason's face, the concern in Bobby's, and the anger in Dean's. He immediately determined to diffuse this situation. "Hello, I'm Tom Baldwin." He graciously extended his hand to Frank O'Connell, who hesitantly raised his own.

"I'm Frank O'Connell, and this is my wife Myrtle. We know Mason, don't' we son?" he said.

Mason nodded his head at Tom.

"Okay, so you saw Sam… this is Dean, his big brother." Tom rested his hand on Dean's arm, feeling the tension pulsing through his taunt muscles; he wrapped his fingers around Dean's wrist, Dean's concerned eyes gazing up at him.

"Yes, I was trying to tell him, but…." Frank eyes darted from Tom to Dean, and his anger abated as he saw the worry and concern in the young man's face. "Anyway," he eased out a breath, "We dropped him at the library. He didn't look so good when we dropped him off."

Dean's feet were moving before he even heard the last of the man's statement, as he moved toward the Impala, wrestling his keys from his jacket pocket.

"Dean, hold up." Tom yelled. "Thank you both for giving Sam a ride. We were looking for him; he's been under the weather. We'll just go pick him up." He turned toward the Impala that was now revving up behind him.

Mason eased in the back seat, "Thanks Mrs. Myrtle." He smiled at her over the hood of the Impala. _She meant well, she always did. _

Bobby curled his fingers around the bill of his ball cap, nodding graciously at the older couple, "Thank you. Thank you both." He grinned widely, and wretched open the heavy passenger door, sliding into the front seat next to Dean.

The O'Connell's stood for a moment eyes watching the situation unfold in front of them. Myrtles mouth gaped as the Impala spun in the mud, engine thundering loudly around them, rocks and dirt flying up behind it. Her husband grinned widely, as he watched the muscle car whip out onto the highway, and dart down the road toward Carpenter's Creek. _Guess they did care what happened to Sam after all. Damn, that was a fine car._


	19. Chapter 19

I'll Try to Carry On

**I'll try to Carry On**

**Chapter 19**

**Gee, Thanks for That**

**By supernatural**

The words blurred in Sam's vision as he struggled to read from the array of books he had lain on the small table, in the desolate library. He drew a weary hand up to knead his eyebrows, scrunching them together as tight as possible. _He had a headache. _ He heaved in a large gulp of air and rested his forehead on his clinched fists as his long bangs fell across his face and covered his weary features. He stared at the words watching them float around on the page in front of him. He blinked, his eyes burned, and his heavy lids slipped close for a moment. He jerked. _Wake up. Come on Winchester, you been sleeping for the last three days. _He gave a slight shake of his head as he fought to stay focused on the research, the words, and his train of thought drifted. It had taken a huge amount of time and energy just to locate the books in the old library, and then lug them, one at a time, to the table. The matronly Librarian kept giving him a questioning look and asked him several times if he needed any help. _What a wuse, had to get some old lady librarian to help him. Dean would have a big laugh about that. _

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The stark black Impala screeched into a parking spot right in front of the old library in Carpenter's Creek. Dean Winchester whipped open the driver's door with one smooth motion, and jumped to the asphalt. His three friends followed closely behind. Four sets of shoes thudded loudly against the concrete sidewalk as they made their way through the double doors, eyes darting around the silent library. Their entry did not go unnoticed by the librarian or the patrons, heads darted up, eyes glaring at the motley crew stumbling in loudly.

"Shhhhh." The matronly librarians finger rose to her lips and she darted from around the front desk, eyes piercingly angry at the noisy bunch.

Dean grimaced and nudged slightly around the older woman as if she were not even standing in front of him. _He was so kicking his little brother's ass. _His eyes flitted around the bookshelves, tables, and finally fell to a brown mop top head appearing over the top of a large book in the far corner.

The librarian moved in front of him again, nudging him on the shoulder with her pointed finger. "You all need to be quiet; this is a library, not a bar." She eyed Dean suspiciously, then gazed at the others standing behind him.

"That is my brother, right over there." He raised his own finger, voice too loud, pointing directly to a table in the library. "I am just going to go talk to him." He nodded his head in an angry gesture as he stepped around the matronly woman, eyes fixed on his brother.

"NO TALKING… whispering only." She informed Dean as he brushed past her. He nodded his head silently, eyes fixated on the far corner table.

"And the rest of you, if you are not after a book, then get out of here." The librarian nudged the other three men backwards through the doorway.

Bobby, Tom, and Mason moved silently, wide eyes gaping at the librarian.

"Why Mason Sanders, I'm surprised at you. You know better." An astounded tone rose from the matronly woman's lips as recognition radiated in her eyes.

A grin curled up on Tom and Bobby's faces as they saw Mason shrink from the older woman. _Mason obviously had a way with the old ladies in Carpenter's Creek. _Tom laughed lightly and grinned at Bobby.

"Okay, okay, we got it. Let's wait outside you guys." Bobby huffed as he watched Dean make his way toward the back of the room and his kid brother. _At least they found Sam._

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

Dean reached the far table, in the corner, in several hasty steps, anger at his brother brimming from his motions. _The little shit, dare him run off without telling anyone. _He yanked out the chair next to Sam and plopped down harshly in the seat, fisted hands resting on the table. He glared at the back of the book, Sam's fingers locked around it tightly.

"Listen here Sam, don't you ever run off like that again. We have been through this before. You tell someone where you are going. You hear me?"

The book didn't move, just sat purchased against the hard wooden table, Sam's fingers still clutched tightly around the leather.

"Sam, are you ignoring me. Get your nose out of that damn book right now." Dean's eyes cut across the table, glaring at the book in front if him. Still, nothing happened. A slight anxiety clutched in Dean's chest, overriding his anger as he gazed at the back of the book. He pulled his hand over and tugged it downward in Sam's fingers, his eyes looking keenly at his younger brother. 

Sam sat perfectly straight, head upright, fingers still gripped on the open book as it fell limply back to the table. Dean frowned. "Sammy?" _Was his brother asleep sitting up? _Sam's eyes firmly closed, fingers holding onto the book. _ Holy crap. _ He gently tugged the worn leather binding from his brother's fingers and closed it quietly against the table. Sam's head lolled slightly with the movement, his chin falling gradually against his chest as he slept on, oblivious to Dean or anything going on around him. _Poor kid, he should not even be here doing this. Damn deal. _Dean rose from the chair and crunched down at the knees, eye level with his kid brother. He put an arm around Sam's back, fingers on his right hand gripping the nap of his brother's neck. He moved his left hand around and wrapped Sam's right fingers in his own, patting them lightly. "Sammy, wake up." He whispered into the unruly locks resting against his own cheek. Sam still slept, no movement, just a light breathing coming from his parted lips. "Sammy?" Dean gave his brother a small shake, then watched as Sam's heavy lids opened to half mast, confusion evident in his features.

"Wh…" Sam's eyes blinked leisurely, and then looked blearily around the library and back to his brother.

"It's okay, you're at the library. Remember? Running off and not telling anyone…huh? You remember that?" Anger mixed with concern etched its way into Dean's face.

"MmmHmm." Sam's shoulders shrugged and his head nodded slowly, then nudged against Dean's shoulder, his eyes closing lazily.

Dean doubted, at that moment, that Sam remembered too much of anything. "Okay, Sammy, you got to help me out here. Wake up." He reached his fingers up and patted Sam's cheek, and was greeted with his brother's hazel orbs once again gazing half mast at him. "Okay, let's get you back to Mason's."

"…okay…" Sam muttered softly. "I'm sorry…"

Dean could tell from Sam's tone, it was a heartfelt apology, and his little brother looked so out of it and tired, that he just could not yell at him. "It's okay kiddo, its okay."

Dean lugged Sam to a standing position, arms wrapped tightly around his waist, fingers grasping the back of his jacket. Sam took some of his own weight, but a lot of it sank back into Dean. Dean compensated quickly, firmly planting his feet on the ground as he pulled Sam against him closer. He gave the librarian a cocky grin as he led Sam by her on his wobbly legs. "He's okay, been sick. Just needs to rest." Dean assured her as she gave them both a confused look.

"Here, I'll get the door." She offered with a light smile. "You know I had to help him get all those books, he looked like he was about to drop when he came in here."

Sam's head rose from the nap of his brother's neck, eyes rolling at the matronly librarian. _Gee Thanks for that, as if Dean wasn't already pissed off. _ Dean smiled at Sam's reaction, and mouthed the words 'Thank you' as he moved them both slowly through the double doors.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

Bobby Singer pushed off the front of the Impala as he saw the library door swing open and Sam clinging against his brother. "There they are." He glanced worriedly at Tom and Mason and then moved quickly to Sam's side.

"Hey Sammy. You decide to do some research did you?" Bobby flashed Sam a warm smile as he tugged his arm around his left side and helped Dean to move them toward the car.

Sam nodded slowly at Bobby. "Yea…just got tired." He mumbled.

Tom watched from the passenger door as they moved slowly toward the car. _ This kid really needed to give this research thing a rest. Take care of himself. _

As they eased Sam into the front seat, Tom leaned down and looked intently at him. Dean shuffled around to the driver's side as Bobby and Mason slid in the back. Tom rested the back of his hand on Sam's forehead. The medic in him making sure Sam did not have a fever. He hesitated momentarily, and then decided he had best say what was on his mind. He leaned his large frame down next to the passenger seat, eyes watching Sam. "Look Sam, I know you want to research, get Dean out of the deal, but, you have to take it easy right now. You just got out of the hospital. You have mono. Believe me; it does not just go away in three days." Sam opened his eyes, and gazed into Tom's face.

"You are not in this alone Sam. We will help you." Tom whispered.

Sam leaned his heavy head against the back of the bench seat and stared at Tom, tears forming just beneath his lids. Tom patted him firmly on the knee. _No need to elaborate, obviously Sam was not in any shape for it right now. _He smiled at the kid, and then closed the door, easing in the back seat next to Mason. He glanced to Bobby, then up at the rearview mirror, Dean looking him intently as he started up the car, gratitude written all over his face.


	20. Chapter 20

I'll Try to Carry On

**I'll try to Carry On**

**Chapter 20**

**Rest Up, Recuperate, Recover**

**By supernatural**

Mason Sanders cocked his head to the side, moss green eyes staring through his long brown hair at Sam Winchester. He was lying awkwardly on the living room couch, head hunched into Dean's shoulder blade, his long, lean body tucked tightly in a cloud of blankets, sound asleep. He smiled silently to himself. _ He remembered his older brother used to take care of him like that, since his Dad left them when he was six. Since his mom had died four years ago. _

Sam had been sleeping all night and most of the morning, his little trek to the library obviously had taken a toll. He noticed Dean's thumb casually rubbing a gentle, unconscious circle against Sam's relaxed hand. Mason smiled again. _ He was sure Dean did not even realize he was doing that. _ He shifted in the chair and darted his eyes over to Bobby, who was examining Sam's medication bottles with serious intent. _Obviously, here was another man who cared a great deal about Sam. _ He blinked back the tears that rose to his eyelids as he wished he had someone who cared about him now. E_veryone gone. He had no one. _ He dropped his head back to lean against the tattered cushions of the chair, a low sigh escaping from his lips. He tugged his eyes closed as memories of his brother, Gerard, assaulted him. He jumped when he felt a tight grip against his own shoulder, and hastily yanked away, his eyes darting up at the face of Tom Baldwin.

"Hey you….you okay?" Tom whispered as he pulled his large hand away and fixed his face attentively on Mason. _Poor kid, he was having a hard time of it. _ He watched as the younger man shuffled in the chair and blinked back the dampness just beneath his lids. He pretended not to notice. "Yeah?" He waited.

Mason finally nodded slowly, "UmmHumm," he murmured.

"Come on then, I need help fixing lunch." Tom gripped Mason's elbow and lugged him to his bare feet.

"Hey", Mason quipped, "When did we become designated waiters?" A grin rose on his lips as he looked at Tom.

"Get your ass in here and help me…Now!" An authoritative tone burst from Tom's lips and he rolled his eyes.

Bobby glanced up at Tom. _Obviously, all Tom's years in the army had just reared its ugly head. _

"Okay, okay, don't go all twisted sister on me." Mason laughed as his bleary thoughts brightened, and he eased up and walked with Tom toward the kitchen.

Bobby stood from his chair moving toward the kitchen; a grin curling to his lips. _Those two got along really well. _

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Sam's eyes blinked open as he gazed at the T.V. screen, and moved slowly upward to see his brother's face. Dean was watching the television attentively. It dawned on him that he had fallen asleep sitting next to Dean, and now, somehow, he was sprawled out on the couch, head nuzzled up against his brothers shoulder. He could move, but he still felt sluggish. _Memories of a childhood spent nestled against his brother on beds in ratty motels came to mind. _His body gave a slight shudder and he felt a hand tugging at the blankets and patting them firmly.

"Hey kiddo, you warm enough?" Dean's concerned face tilted at an angle looking at Sam's sluggish lids.

"Yeah." Sam whispered, his voice low and sleepy.

"So, you want to ease off my shoulder there buddy, my arm's asleep." Dean's lips curled up in a slight grin.

"Sorry", Sam mumbled as he slipped off his brother's shoulder and leaned his head back against the old couch, his feet easing down in front of him to the floor.

"You have a good nap?" Dean inquired as he pushed the remote and muted the T.V. _Now was as a good a time as any to get things out in the open._

"I didn't mean to fall asleep." Sam cleared his throat.

"It's okay Sam, that's what you need to be doing, sleeping, resting, and getting your strength back. We aren't hunting till you're 100 percent." Dean pushed up slightly on the couch and rested his elbows on his knees, eyes darting up and down his brother's pale face. "I know why you went to the library, Sam. I know you feel like time's a wasting and you need to be doing something. But Sam, you have to take care of yourself."

Sam nodded his head silently. _Maybe, if he didn't say anything, they wouldn't have this conversation._ He closed his weary lids, a silent sigh coming from his lips.

"Sam…Sam, you have to promise me… you will rest up, recuperate, recover. Promise me I won't find you passed out on the side of the road somewhere between here and the library." Dean's tone was firm, yet questioning, insecure and fearful.

Sam tugged open his eyes to gaze at his older brother, no words coming from his lips. _He didn't know if he could just sit back and wait to recover, he had to research, to get Dean out of the deal. He wanted to do what Dean needed for him too, he wanted to, but he couldn't put himself first, not when Dean's life was at stake. _

"Sammy?" Dean expected an answer as he glared at his ailing sibling, tense look on his face.

The clashing of breaking glass from the kitchen interrupted the silence and both of their eyes darted toward the open archway to see Mason rolling his eyes at Tom and Bobby.

"Jeez, will you guys just go sit down. I got this covered." Mason squealed.

"Who us?" Tom muttered as he moved backwards toward the kitchen door and the couch where Dean and Sam sat. He arched his eyebrows up as he glanced around at them both, wicked smile on his lips. He eased down on the couch next to Sam.

"I'm going, Mason." Bobby's words vibrated around the kitchen and living room as he made hasty steps to leave the kitchen. Mason glared at him as he swept up the broken glass and moved back to finish up lunch. Bobby winked at all three men as he plopped down in the worn chair.

Tom and Bobby glanced at each other as they realized they had interrupted something between the Winchesters in their haste to trick Mason into fixing lunch. Their eyes fixed on each other and back to the brothers. They both had an idea what this conversation was about, a silent nodding motion between them.

Dean shook his head as he watched Mason being taken advantage of one more time, in a long line of Bobby and Tom culvert maneuvering. Any other time, he would be a part of this little plan, but right now, Sam was his priority.

"Sam, I'm still waiting?" Dean's voice had a slight quake to it, anger brimming just beneath the surface.

All eyes fell to Sam, who squirmed uncomfortably from the intense glares upon him.

"I can't Dean." He whispered, "I have to get you out of the deal. I can't just sit here on my thumb, while time passes by." He raised his head and blinked back the tears rimming his eyes as he stared at his older brother. "I have to research, to find the answer."

Deans lips flattened as he gripped his hands together tightly between his kneecaps. "Sam…" His clipped tone did not go unnoticed by Tom and Bobby.

Bobby tilted forward in the chair, "Sam, I will do research while you are sick. Hell, Tom and I will do whatever you want us to do. You… you and Dean, you don't have to do this alone. You are not alone in this. I think I told you both that already."

"You got that right." Tom spoke up softly as his large hand came down and thudded heavily against Sam's blanket clad knee.

Sam raised his gaze to look at the two older hunters.

"Let us help you." Tom gripped Sam's knee through the covering as he nodded at Bobby.

_These two were something. _Dean sighed, as he felt the tension leave his body, relief that possibly Sam would relent some, hope in his features as he looked at his kid brother.

Sam's eyes flickered around the room from Dean to Bobby and Tom. He moved his head in a slight yes motion. "Okay", his voice broken and vulnerable. "Okay." He said again, as he closed his eyes, quiet tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Hey, get your butts in here, because I am not waiting on your sorry asses." Mason yelled from the kitchen table, his smart ass attitude breaking the tense moment.

The three older hunters began to laugh, and a slow giggle rose from Sam's body. Gazing over at his brother, he tugged his hand across his damp cheeks a small smile curling on his lips.

Dean gave Sam a cockeyed grin, his brother's giggles making his grin turn to a large smile.

"Come one Sam, let's eat." He reached over and began tugging his kid brother up, fingers steadying him as the blanket tumbled toward the floor.

The laughter rang out from the kitchen as Tom grabbed Mason and gave his hair a good tussle. "I think fixing us lunch is actually waiting on us dude." He cackled as Mason shrugged away from his large fingers.

"Yep, think that qualifies." Bobby grinned as his fingers grabbed for the bowl of spaghetti.

"And a fine job you did, Mason." Dean grinned as he eased Sam down to a chair and smiled broadly at the spread on the table. "Fine job."

_**Thank you to my readers. I appreciate every last review. You guys are the best! Winding down now, but not done yet -supernaturaldh-.**_


	21. Chapter 21

I'll Try to Carry On

**I'll try to Carry On**

**Chapter 21**

**That's What Friends are For**

**By supernaturaldh**

Taking a break was not what he had wanted, but because of his older brother, his friends, that is exactly what Sam Winchester had been doing for the last two weeks. He had to admit though; it really was easy when your body craved rest and sleep. If he wasn't sleeping, he was eating, if he wasn't eating, he was sleeping. It was vicious circle, and he was tired of doing it. He pushed the blankets away from his body and slung his feet to the carpet. His ear's strained to hear the laughter coming from the kitchen. He could hear Dean's maniac giggle floating down the hallway, and the hoops and hollers' of Tom and Bobby as they made fun of young Mason Sanders. _Pour kid, he didn't have a chance against those three._ Sam smiled and made his way from the bedroom. He stumbled toward the kitchen and the smell of bacon and eggs.

"Hey, you." Dean spoke up first, eyes gazing at his little brother. He laughed loudly. "Sam, your hair is poking out all over."

Sam blushed slightly and ran his hands up to push lightly through his long locks, then grabbed a chair and sat him down at the table. Tom Baldwin edged a cup of coffee in front of him, and Sam grabbed it gratefully. "Thanks."

"You look like you're feeling better Sam." Bobby voiced as he looked at the youngest Winchester, watching as Sam's head nodded lightly up and down, lips pursed against the steaming cup of coffee.

Mason eased a plate of food in front of Sam's face, and he grinned widely at the young man. "Thanks Mason."

"So, Bobby and I have been doing some research, and we think we might be on to something." Tom grinned widely at Sam.

He quickly brought the coffee cup down and planted it firmly on the table by the food, eyes darting at Tom and Bobby. He felt Dean's intense glare on the side of his face, but did not turn to look at his brother.

"A voodoo queen in New Orleans says she got a spell." Bobby grinned. "Guess we're going to go check it out."

"I want to go." Sam pushed off the table, standing swiftly to his feet. All eyes falling quickly to him as he swayed momentarily and gripped harshly against the table's edge.

Dean reached over and grabbed his kid brother's elbow. "I don't think so Sammy." He tugged him back down to sit abruptly in the chair. "You're just now getting better."

Sam gawked at him wild eyed. "I got to, Dean." He said firmly.

"No Sam, you don't. Tom and I have it taken care of. We are going, Mason is going with us. You just stay here and rest." Bobby spoke sternly; face never wavering from Sam's.

Sam stood again, eyes darting angrily at everyone. "No, I won't just stay here and rest." He backed slowly toward the door. "I'm freaking going. I have to." He grimaced to himself. _His voice sounded so pitiful and pleading. _

"No Sam." Dean stood glaring at his brother, hands crossing firmly across his chest. "You are not going with them. You are staying here with me."

"But Dean…." Sam squinted at his brother. He could hear his own heart thudding loudly in his ears, the room bowing and darting in his vision. He gave his head a slight shake to clear his senses. "Tom? Please…" He let his eyes move slowly around the room, from one familiar face to the other, but no one seemed to hear him, or understand what he needed to do, or why. "Bobby?"

He watched as all four pairs of eyes looked quickly from one to another. _Their minds were already made up. He was fighting a loosing battle this time. _ He shrugged his shoulders, rested his eyes toward the cold linoleum and moved silently out of the kitchen, flinging his gangly limbs down on the tattered couch. He rested his head in his open palms, and let an anxious breathe escape from his lips. _This was not what he wanted to do. He had to find an answer, research. Get his brother out of the deal._ He heard the footfalls behind him, but he did not have the energy or patience to lift his weary head. He felt the cushions give, and the familiar presence of his older brother as he plopped down next to him. He heard the others as they all eased into the various chairs around him. _He couldn't look at them. He was too pissed, too distraught, too emotional at this moment to move. _

He felt Dean's hand fall to his shoulder, fingers gently kneading at his neck muscles and he tilted slightly into the motion.

"Sam, I don't' pretend to understand how you feel. I know you want to save me. But Tom, Bobby, and Mason can do this. Let them help."

Sam lifted his head stoically, staring at the group in front of him. "I have to do something." He whispered.

Bobby, Tom, and Mason all nodded their heads slowly, but no one voiced a word about changing their minds, or letting Sam come with them. Eyes darted around from Dean to Sam in silence.

He felt the cushions on the couch giving way again, and watched as Dean eased from the room. _He guessed he'd pissed off his brother now. _ He hung his head back down, a defeated expression rising on his face. He looked intently at a lint ball on the carpet. _They just did not understand that he had to do something._ Suddenly a box was thrust in front of him, and he looked at it uncertainly.

"Take it Sam." His brother's voice echoed in his ears and his eyes rose to peer at Dean through his shaggy hair.

"What is it?" Sam mumbled as his fingers gripped the box from Dean's hands.

"Open it." Was all Dean offered as he sat back on the couch again, body nestled right up next to Sam.

Sam gazed at Dean and then pulled the package open, realization dawning on his features as he tugged the brand new laptop from its box. "Dean?" he murmured,

Dean smiled widely. "I got it last week, thought you might need it to do your geeky research. You know, whatever research you are doing."

Sam eased back against the cushions, eyes glazing over with unshed tears. "I…I don't know what to say."

"Don't have to say anything Sammy; I broke the one you had. Now we fixed it."

Sam's fingers rubbed lightly across the laptop and flipped it open slowly, the Microsoft screen booting up brightly in front of him. "Cool." He heard Mason whisper, and a small smile curled up on his lips. He raised his head and gazed over at his brother.

"Thanks Dean."

"Well, there are some conditions with this computer Sammy." Dean offered as he leaned in to look at the new computer.

"What?" Sam's eyes squinted in confusion.

"No more than 3 hours a day on the computer. That's it, that's all. No discussion. Or I will throw this one out the window….and we both know I will do it." Dean grinned, eyebrows arching up in an evil glare.

"You're an ass Dean." Bobby spouted as he reached over and patted Sam on the knee.

"Yeah, especially since Bobby and I helped you pay for it." Tom smiled.

"Guys, that's too much. Take it back." Sammy looked taken aback by Tom's words.

"Nope" Tom offered.

"No way." Dean rolled his eyes at Sammy, and nudged his shoulder.

"Not happening Sammy." Bobby said sternly. "That's what friends are for."

**Short chapter- Prologue is left - then it will be done. Thanks for all the great reviews. I appreciate every last one of them. If not for you guys, I would have stopped a long time ago. – supernaturaldh-**


	22. Chapter 22

I'll Try to Carry On

**I'll try to Carry On**

**Epilogue**

**A Winchesters Standoff**

**By supernaturaldh**

Dean's fingers eased the lap top from his sleeping brother's clutches, a grin curling up on his lips. He was glad they had gotten the new laptop for Sammy; it made him happy to see his brother's relief at being able to do research. It had been a week since Tom, Bobby, and Mason had left to check out a lead about a voodoo princess in New Orleans. A week since Sam had put all his hope in them to find a way to get him out of the deal. He reached over and draped the blanket from the back of the couch across his brother. He smiled. He noticed the color was coming back to Sam's face, the drawn tired look no longer overtaking his features. It had been a long thee weeks for Sam sleeping, resting, and trying to get back into fighting form. It had been an even longer time for Dean. He had spent most of his time watching, waiting, and taking care of his brother. He laughed quietly to himself; Sam had put up quite the fight to use the computer in the last week; Dean having to physically force him to relinquish it on several occasions. He was getting restless himself though, ready for a new hunt, but was leery of getting Sam back out there. He wasn't sure if his brother was really ready, but knew if he suggested it, they would be out of here in a moment. So he kept his mouth shut, busied himself with gun cleaning, car washing, and taking care of Sam. _Some fearless hunter he was. _ He idly sat down in the chair, and flipped on the T.V., fingers punching down the volume as he eyed his sleeping brother.

--

The sound of the ringing cell phone drew Sammy from his lazy nap. _Dean answer the phone._ He blinked back the sleep from his lids and let his eyes focus across the room. He made out the lax form of his brother, dozing in the chair, remote grasp loosely in his fingers. He tugged his hand from beneath the warm cocoon of the blanket and grabbed the cell phone from the coffee table. His eyes watching as his brother stirred.

"e'lo", his sleep filled voice whispered in the phone.

"Sam, that you?" Bobby's voice was firm, but questioning.

"Hey Bobby." Sam pushed his legs from beneath the covers, and swung his socked feet to the floor. "How you guys? Any luck?" Adrenaline forced its way through his limbs, anxious to hear what Bobby had to say.

"I hate to tell you son, but this was a bust. This damn voodoo princess is a nutcase." He laughed lightly. "But, she gave us some other leads, so we are moving on, checking them out."

Sam let the echo of Bobby's words sink in. _A dead end, another waste of time. _He slumped back against the couch cushions, his eyes falling to Dean, who was now standing and stretching his limbs, bones and muscles popping with the motion. _He blinked harshly and swallowed the knot that had risen to his throat. _

"Sam, you still there?" Bobby's concerned tone blared through the cell phone.

"Yea, I'm still here." _Right where you left me, sitting on my ass, doing nothing._

"Okay, well let me talk to your brother." Sam's limp hand fell out in front of him, phone languishing in his fingers. He looked hesitantly up at Dean.

"Dean, he wants to talk to you."

Dean's brows furrowed as he reached to take the phone from his brother's hand. _Sam seemed paler since his nap? _ "Hey, Bobby."

--

Sam sat silently, mind running through Bobby's words, over and over again. _This was a bust. This was a bust….bust…. Hell, every lead they found on the deal was a bust. _ He pushed to his feet, fingers fumbling around the blanket and tossing it harshly to the floor. He moved quickly to his duffle, yanking it open and stuffing clothes inside. _ That's all… That's it, he was tired of sitting here doing nothing. He needed to meet up with the others, be part of the search to help Dean. _

_-- _

Dean watched his brother as he listened intently to Bobby's words, concerned gaze settling on Sam darting around the room.

"You're brother okay?"

"Not sure, what you tell him?" _Was Sam packing up their stuff? _

"The voodoo thing was a total waste of time Dean. But we did get some other leads, one with a witch up in Salem. We'll be heading up that way. "

Dean listened as the bathroom door thudded closed. _Good, Sam was out of ear shot. _

"Listen Bobby, I don't know why you guys are all wasting your time trying to find a way to get me out of this deal. It's as good as done. You need to give it a rest, so Sam will give it a rest."

"Are you freaking kidding me boy. Look here, you're like a son to me. Ain't no way I am just letting this go. Hell, all three of us want to get you out of this deal; it's not just what Sam wants". Bobby's voice was low, a slight tremor quivering through the phone line.

A large sigh echoed in Dean's ear and then he heard the phone shuffling from Bobby's hand and a mumbling of voices on the other end of the phone.

"Damn it Dean, just shut the hell up. We are all in this together, and we will get you out of this deal." Tom Baldwin's harsh military tone rang in Dean's ear and he jerked the phone slightly away from his face. _Well shit, guess he was pissing them off._

"Okay, jeez, you guys just calm down." Dean whispered. He turned lightly on the balls of his feet, his mouth falling slightly a gap as he saw his kid brother standing in front of the bathroom doorway, eyes wildly staring at him.

"You did not just tell them to stop looking for a way out of the deal. " Sam's features snarled up in an angry face. His hand whipped out, yanking the phone from his dumbfounded brother and pushing Dean back slightly.

Sam yelled into the phone. "Don't you dare stop looking? You hear me," Sam stammered out in one hot breathe, "Don't you dare!" He leered angrily at his brother. _What the hell was wrong with Dean? Why didn't he want to save himself? _

"Don't worry Sam, we aren't stopping. You just tell you're idiot brother to shut up." Tom attempted to hold his anger at Dean Winchester simmering just below the surface.

Sam grinned, tension easing from his face. "I can do that Tom. I can do that, no problem." 

--

Dean flopped boneless down on the couch, eyes resting on his brother's face. He watched as Sam paced the room, head leaning into the cell phone, hanging on every word that Bobby and Tom had to say. Then the phone slapped shut, and his six foot four frame stood towering over Dean.

"Get your shit together, Dean. We're meeting them in Massachusetts." Sam boomed as he glared at his older brother.

_Oh no, he is so not giving me a freaking order; I don't think so. _ Dean pushed to his feet, leaning harshly into Sam, eyes narrow, his face taunt, pointed finger slamming harshly into Sam's chest. "Sammy, this has to stop."

"NO". Sam's eyebrows furrowed down, his face set, daring Dean to argue with him.

"Why Sam? It's going to be another total waste of time." Dean huffed out, arms flinging harshly across his chest, anger simmering just below the edges.

There was silence, as two grown men stared each other down. Both men shuffled slightly under the other's scrutiny, neither wanting to give.

Dean glared at his younger brother. _ A Winchester stand off, hadn't had one of those in a while. _ Anger seemed to roll off of Sam one minute, and then ebbed away. In one brief moment, the innocent boy Dean remembered from his youth returned to stand in front of him. Sam's body slumped, long bangs covering his head as he dropped his eyes to stare at the dirty carpet. _The standoff was over. _

"Cause you're my brother Dean." Sam mumbled, his body gave a slight shudder and he curled downward to his knees, body slumping toward the carpet.

Dean's hand reached out to grasp Sam's arm tightly as he felt the first sob escape Sam's lips. _Look what he had done now. He was such a jerk. Just when Sam was getting better, he pushed again, pushed too hard. _His anger faded as he strained to hear the words his brother mumbled.

"I c...can't do this a…alone.…" Sam sobbed and Dean's fingers clasped around the nap of his neck, pulling him against his shoulder as the sobs wracked his baby brother's lanky frame.

--

Dean didn't know how long they sat like that, on the tattered carpet of Mason's Sanders living room, Sam crying, mumbling; Dean consoling, and rocking. Eventually, the tears subsided and Dean lugged his brother to his feet, packed up their gear, and loaded him up the Impala. Sam falling asleep, face pressed against the passenger window, long before they even made it out of town.

Dean heaved a weary sigh, and struggled with his own thoughts, his own regrets, as the Impala hummed down the darkened roadway. _He had made a selfish choice in Cold Oak, bringing his brother back to deal with something he didn't want to. _ He now knew he saved Sam because he didn't want to loose his little brother, because it hurt too much. But, now, he expected Sam to do just that. It was going to be a long drive to Massachusetts, to hook back up with Bobby, Tom, and Mason; the friends that Sam needed, now and six months from now. He shuffled further down in the bench seat, and blinked back his own tears. _ He knew what Sam needed, and the least he could do was give it to him. _

**End!!**

**Note sure I like this ending. I just couldn't find a good place to stop. – Hope you enjoyed. – supernaturaldh-**


	23. Chapter 23

I'll Try to Carry On

**I'll try to Carry On**

**Chapter 23**

**By supernaturaldh**

**THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO READ THIS STORY. IT WON IN THE SUPERNATURAL FAN FICTION AWARDS ROUND 13 – BEST STORY! AWESOME!**

**It is a continuation of Slightly Stupid, Catch Me When I Fall, but you don't have to read those. I am working on the next sequel – Two Halves will make a Whole. **

**Hope you read them all. **

**Reviews are welcomed and appreciated! They keep me going!**

**Thanks- supernaturaldh**


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